For Lack of a Happy Ending (Emergency Fan-fiction)

Chapter 5

Roy was in a haze of drugs and pain. "Where's Johnny?" He asked, the adrenaline that had been coursing through him before was gone. He tried to sit up, maybe he was next to him, like he should be.

"Lay back down," Said Kevin as he pushed him back to the ground. "They're doing everything they can for him." Roy knew what that meant, but he refused to accept it until he heard someone flat out say it. Those fateful words that he knew he would hear by the end of the day.

He loved Johnny, and Johnny loved him. They were partners, brothers, best friends. How was Roy going to live without him? His pranks, his dorkiness, his little crooked smile that Roy had grown to love. He wouldn't be able to look over at night and see his best friend in the bed across from him, he wouldn't be able to laugh when Chet pranked him, he wouldn't be able to talk to him, to invite him to dinner. Johnny was a part of his family, and he was going to lose him.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw him, lifeless, being carried in the stokes. He was gently set down on the ground near him. Roy sat up, his vision focusing again.

"Lay back down," they said to him.

"No, no." He replied shaking them off. He placed his hand on the side of the stokes, then on Johnny's hand. He held it, waiting for him to wake up. Why wasn't he waking up? Roy felt the tears coming again. They dripped onto Johnny's dusty blue shirt making little dots. He brushed Johnny's hair off his face and felt himself let go, there was nothing stopping the tears now. It was like rain, pitter pattering onto Johnny's face and rolling down his pale cheeks. He was fiddling with Johnny's hair, letting his dirty fingers twist little knots and then letting them unwind.

People were moving around them, poking Johnny with needles, giving him oxygen, bandaging him up. Roy was there, just there. He was swaying from side to side, everything was blurring together. They were picking Johnny up, taking him away from Roy. He tried to stand and follow, but his legs wouldn't support his weight. He almost fell, but again Kevin was there to catch him.

"Roy I need you to lay down," he said gently. Roy shook his head blankly.

"No," He said weakly. "I'm not leaving his side." He locked eyes with Kevin and gave him a pleading look. Kevin paused a moment before nodding.
"Okay," He said giving in. He led Roy over to the ambulance, he was supporting all of his weight. He helped the injured fireman into the ambulance and let him sit on the bench across from Jim.

"Kev, he's in no condition-" began Jim.

"Let him stay," said Kevin sadly. "Let him stay..." Jim paused before nodding sadly, giving in. As Kevin closed the ambulance doors, he realized that only one of those two was going to make it out of this alive.

Roy looked at Johnny's pale face as he swayed back and forth in the ambulance. He wanted to hold him, to tell him it would be okay, to comfort him. But it wasn't going to be okay. It would never be okay again. He wanted to see Jonny smile again, he wanted to see him laugh and joke. He wanted so much, but he was getting so little.

He stroked Johnny's long chocolate hair. "It's going to be okay..." he whispered, but he was really just trying to convince himself of that.

Jim started at the floor, he felt like he was intruding on something so personal and intimate. He didn't think Roy was acting strangely at all, god knows he'd be just as much of a mess if he was watching Kevin die.

Johnny felt the coolness of a hand on his forehead. His eyes fluttered open for a second. He saw the outline of his best friend leaning over him. He felt Roy's tears gently land on his face. He smiled. Roy leaned down and whispered to him.

"I love you," he said trying to contain the sobs. "Oh my god I love you please don't die."

"Stay strong," Said Johnny softly. His eyes closed again and Roy let a sob slip out. He covered his mouth with his hand and sat up. He wiped his cheeks and looked up at Jim who gave him a sorrowful look. The ambulance jerked to a stop as they arrived at the hospital. All of the sudden there was a rush of people pulling Johnny out. Roy jumped up to go with but Jim caught his arm.

"No," said Roy trying to pull away. "Let me stay with him."

"I will," he said. "Just let me help you." Roy gave him a look of gratitude and accepted his help. Together they walked slowly down the hall towards the room.

"You'll have to wait out here," Dixie said to Roy and Jim.

"No," Said Jim firmly. "He's coming in." Dixie looked like she was going to get mad for a moment but then she shook her head and shrugged as she pushed open the door for them.

Johnny was spread out on the table, there were people running around ordering things, trying to stop the bleeding. Roy was standing next to Jim, they were completely unnoticed. Roy's knees began to buckle and he felt the room begin to spin.

"Whoa there," Said Jim as he pulled out a stool for the injured man. Roy nodded his thanks before going back to watching his friend. Brackett was yelling, Early was rushing about pulling things out of cupboards. There were nurses running around trying to keep up with the faced paced doctors. Dixie was standing by Johnny monitoring his vitals.

"Kel," She said looking up as she told him the new set of vitals, her voice cracked. They realized that this was it, this was the end. There was nothing more they could do. They stepped back as if watching in slow motion. Brackett looked at Roy.

"You can say goodbye," He told him, his voice catching. Roy got up as if in a dream and walked over to the side of Johnny's bed. He looked down at his pale skin, his brown hair, his dirty face. This was it, The final goodbye, the last chapter, the end. He leaned down to Johnny's level, he didn't care right now that he was in a room full of people, this was his last chance to talk to him, to say the important things. He brushed Johnny's hair back, leaned down, and gently kissed his forehead. He let himself feel the coolness of Johnny's skin, he let it all go. "I love you," He said crying. "I love you."

Johnny's eyes opened for the last time. "I love you too." He said weakly, and then he was gone.

Roy was being pulled off the floor, he couldn't see through the tears, he couldn't think, he was dead. Dead. The word rang in his ears, dead. John Gage, his best friend was dead. Gone, dead. He slumped forward, he heard screams. They seemed so distant but it was him. He was screaming, crying, sobbing, calling his name. Someone was picking him up and helping him to another room.

"No, no, no, no, no," he kept saying, he couldn't breathe. He was sobbing too hard. He was laying on his side, on a bed, sobbing. He felt a cool hand gently brushing his hair back.
"Johnny?" He asked softly, it was always Johnny that did that. Maybe he was just having a nightmare, maybe Johnny was waking him up.

"Shhh," Said Dixie through her own tears. He pressed his eyes shut, it wasn't a dream. He lay there willing himself into unconsciousness, but even that was denied from him. His face was wet with tears, he could taste the salt in his mouth. After what seemed like a hopeless eternity he let himself drift off.