Beneath the smile

Chapter 1

Louis sat on his windowsill and looked outside, it was raining heavily and he wasn’t too keen to go to uni today, but he had to. He sipped on his coffee and kept looking outside of the window. The black cabs were driving really slow, since the streets were almost flooded by rain. It was really cold in Louis’ flat, he was wearing his favourite sweater and a jacket, but it was still cold or maybe it wasn’t even the temperature in his flat, maybe it was just his mood that made him feel so cold. Louis was sad and the English weather didn’t help matters. He hadn’t seen Harry for three days now and that made him even sadder, Harry was the only one that made him feel at least a little bit better and when he was not around Louis was just completely unhappy. He jumped a little when he saw that he had one missed call from Harry. Louis hadn’t even noticed that his phone rang, he had been just too lost in his thoughts. He slowly dialed Harry’s number and his fingers shivered when he did. “Louis?” Louis’ voice started to tremble and he started to stutter. “H-hi.” He heard Harry’s calming laugh on the other side. “Lou? Are you alright?” Louis nodded, when he realized that Harry couldn’t see him and then he started to stutter again. “Y-yes. I-I’m alright.” “Shall I come over?” Louis smiled slightly. “Yes, please.” “I’ll be there in a minute.” Harry ended the call and Louis sat down on the windowsill again. He was happy, but sad at the same time, because he was excited that he was finally going to see Harry again, but he was also nervous, because he hadn’t seen him for a while. Louis frightened slightly when he heard a knock on the door. He got up and slowly walked through the long grey corridor. He opened the door and saw Harry, of course he was smiling and Louis adored that smile more than anything. It was like the polar-star in the night sky. There are a lot of smiles, but none of them made Louis happier than Harry’s smile. “Hey Lou.” “Hi…” Louis smiled and hugged Harry. He never wanted to let go again. “I missed you, Lou.” “I missed you too, it was lonely.” “I’m sorry.” “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s my fault that I always get sad and depressed when I’m alone.” “No, it’s not. Don’t blame yourself, Lou. Please don’t.” Louis looked on the ground and suddenly felt sad again, because he felt like he did a mistake and upset Harry. Of course Harry noticed, he sat down on the couch and pulled Louis towards him. “Do you wanna go out tonight?” “I don’t really feel well…” “You’ll feel better, I promise.” Louis sighed and looked outside of the window. “Alright…” Louis knew what Harry had in mind. He wanted to eat something, then go dancing and then spend the rest of the night at Louis’ flat. They always did that when Louis was upset, but he wasn’t too sure if that would work today, since Louis had to spend three days without Harry, three days - deep sadness. Louis sat down on Harry’s lap and sipped on his coffee again. „I’m so tired of everything.“  ”And coffee can’t sort that out?” Harry laughed, he was obviously joking and Louis always laughed at his jokes. Louis chuckled and you could see that he was already feeling better. He looked on the clock and saw that his first period had already started. “Shit, I’m late for uni.” “Don’t worry, Lou. I can drive you.” Louis smiled and got up to get his backpack. “Thanks, Haz.” The two boys left the small flat and entered Harry’s car. It was a black Range Rover and Harry had various pillows and blankets in the back, since he sometimes slept in his car. He drove to the Central Saint Martins College. Louis gave Harry a kiss on the cheek and left the car. They hadn’t really kissed yet. There had been some moments that would have been perfect for a first kiss, but Louis had always been to scared and anxious to actually kiss Harry. He just didn’t want to ruin a wonderful moment with a kiss. Louis never really had a boyfriend, he had a few girlfriends in the past, but since he had realized that he way gay, he didn’t have any boyfriends. The truth was that Louis hadn’t even told anyone about his sexuality, not even his family. He was just too scared of the reactions.

He slowly entered the building and walked to his classroom. On his way he bumped into one of his friends, Liam. He was studying graphic design and the two had been friends since Louis first moved to London. “Hey Louis. You’re late, aren’t you?” “Yes, I forget the time, luckily Harry was there to drive me.” “Ah, yes, Harry. Are you two going out tonight?” “Probably.” “I’ll be at the Funky Buddha.” “I think we’ll go there too. See you later, mate.” “See you later.” Louis didn’t know why, but he felt like Liam exactly knew what was going on between Harry and him. He usually told his lads that Harry is a friend, since they didn’t know about his sexuality either, but Liam seemed like he knew that that’s a lie, but he also seemed like he didn’t mind at all. Louis entered the classroom and sat down in the last row, no-one sat in the last row, all the other students wanted to sit in the first row, since it was closer to the professor, but Louis liked the last row - it was isolated, quiet and peaceful. The second period seemed to go on forever, but when the Professor finally left the classroom Louis sighed with relief. He liked his professor and he liked his university, but sometimes he just didn’t really have enough motivation. Louis walked out of the building and grinned when he saw the black Range Rover in the car park. Harry leaned against his car and smiled. “How was your day?” “It could have been better.” “It will be better.” The boys got into the car and drove back to Louis’ flat.