The Backstory..

'Man Robs Local Sex Shop, Ending In Action-Packed Last Ditch Efforts'

Local man, *insert Name*, robbed 'The Pleasure Machine', a local adult shop. The owner caught him, though. In the heat of the moment the man shot the intruder with a shotgun, but the the robber was only grazed. Taking what he could, a bag containing 5 dildos, the man ran. The owner said "I watched the bastard run down the street, I called the coppers and they catched him," with a chuckle, "they found him trying to hitchhike. Dumbass."

In a last attempt to escape, the man began to throw the stolen items at the police officers. As the police drew closer, the man decided to attack an officer, wielding the item like a sword. He was subdued and is now being held in the custody of the police.
The owner concluded "I dunno what kinda sad bastard tries to rob a sex shop, but I kinda admire him. I kinda wish I had a ganked them though," while coughing out a laugh tainted with years of chain smoking. I gotta say, I agree.

If you women want, u can send me weird random headlines u find, or ones u think of, and i'll write u the back story!

XD XD