A Beautiful Mess

Chapter 9

"Clarke, can you hear me?" Her eyes rolled back and I couldn't breathe. There was so much blood. Aries started to cry as I held her hand, "please hold on. Stay with me."

"Bell," her voice was barely there.

There were footsteps behind me. I didn't turn around to see. I knew Octavia had come back with Abby and Jackson. I knew they would do everything they could to bring her back to me. But I still couldn't stop the tears that gathered in my eyes. I couldn't let go of her hand, praying she'd open her eyes and look at me once more.

"Bellamy I have to move her," Abby's voice cut through my hurt, "you take Aries and I'll get her to medical. She's going to be okay."

I nodded my head, but I couldn't think straight. I couldn't see past the pain that was blinding me. Clarke took the bullet. She stepped in front of it so Aries wouldn't get hit. She was a mother, she was his mother. I closed my eyes and rubbed them, Aries grabbed my hand.

"Daddy," his little arms wrapped around my shoulders. I hugged him, "hi."

I hugged him close as they moved Clarke as fast as they could back to the camp, to the medical bay. I tried to fight off the tears so that he wouldn't know something terrible had happened. But he knew. I could tell he knew, his eyes kept searching for Clarke.

Just like that our perfect family moment was shattered.

--

I wouldn't move from her side. She was sleeping, at least that's what Abby said. Her chest was going up and down, but her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful, but I knew she was in pain. The bullet had barely missed an artery. She was lucky she hasn't bled to death on the way back into camp. Even though she had bled a lot, Abby said she didn't lose enough to warrant worry. Abby didn't know me very well. I worried more when it came to Clarke.

"Open your eyes Clarke," I whispered as Aries crawled around the room. He sat down by the stool I was on and let out a sigh. I squeezed her hand, "yell at me, tell me it was foolish to take Aries to the lake. Please just come back to me princess."

Aries stood up beside me, holding onto the make shift bed for support. I smiled at his effort, taking a moment to realize this milestone was one I was witnessing alone. Then he pressed his hand against Clarke's cheek, "mama."

I nodded, "yeah. Mama."

"Hurt?" My eyes went wide at that word.

I nodded, "yeah buddy. Mama got hurt. But she's going to be okay."

He laid a kiss on her cheek, "all better."

I nodded, unable to find the words to express how I felt. Tear filled my eyes as I thought back to all the moments when Clarke kissed his bruises and cuts and said the same thing. I smiled, pulling him up onto my lap. I kept Clarke's hand in mine. I tried to find comfort in his soft babyness, but I couldn't. Not when the person we both loved more than anyone else was laying on the table in front of us.

"Mama needs to rest," I sighed as he kept staring at Clarke, willing her to wake up, "but she's going to be okay."

He nodded, "daddy?"

"I'm okay," I whispered, my throat was sore and my eyes were red and puffy. I was exhausted. But I refused to sleep until she woke up. It wasn't fair to him, but I couldn't leave either of them. Not after seeing the blood that covered her shirt. The last time I left her to fend for herself she walked away and left the camp for months. I wouldn't let her wake up alone. She had been alone for too long now. We were in this together. Which meant I was staying right beside her until her blue eyes finally opened back up.