Funny Science and Technology Quotes

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*** Computers & IT ***

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." Pablo Picasso.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." Rich Cook.

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer." Rita May Brown.

"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men." Isaac Asimov.

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." Paul Ehrlich.

"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity." Patrick Murray.

"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers." Leonard Brandwein.

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity." Dennis Ritchie.

"The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again." Al Goodman.

"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." Eric Porterfield.

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." Pablo Picasso.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." Rich Cook.

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer." Rita May Brown.

"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men." Isaac Asimov.

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." Paul Ehrlich.

"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity." Patrick Murray.

"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers." Leonard Brandwein.

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity." Dennis Ritchie.

"The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again." Al Goodman.

"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." Eric Porterfield.

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents." Nathaniel Borenstein.

"To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so." Robert Orben.

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside." Robert X. Cringely.

"If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it." Pierre Gallois.

*** Academics ***

"Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known." FA Montagu.

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