SHE'S brOKen

Part 3!

SHE'S brOKen

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As a child I have always wanted to fly in a helicopter. Me and my dad, before he left us would always watch movies where the heroes were always ready to fly to safety when the pilot passed out. Or when they were in hot pursuit of the bad guys. But now here I am, in one, being airlifted across the country. Instead of bright yellow, our plane is gray and dull. We blend in with the gloomy seemingly sad sky. Instead of a hero, the only people in the plane are me, mom, nurses a pilot and a chatty lady who won't stop telling me," How lovely it is there" and," How I'm going to love the teens section. There will be so many kids who are excited to see you!" I only have two more months of endless smiles and cheering faces to go. Two more torturous months.

Do you remember your first day of school? Your parents walking you in, someone crying. I'm not even halfway into the door when mom bursts into tears.

"Mom, it's ok. I'm fine."

"I know. It's just..."

My one strong, brave and positive mother's voice shakes. The air thickens, making it even harder for the words to come out. The terrible, horrible words.

"I- you- they said that it's likely for you to live 3 weeks. Not two months."

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want everything to just stop and to be left alone. But I can't. Because of my mom. She's been through so much for me and all I've been is negative. She was there for me all my life. When I first fell off my bike, when I got into my first fight with my best friend, and most of all, when dad left us.

I remember it clearly. I went to sleep, he said goodnight, just like any other night, and I went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. I thought it was a business trip, but when one day passes, then two days turned into four. Four days turned into weeks, and I finally accepted that he was gone forever. Happy, proud, energetic dad. Sometimes harsh, drunk, angry dad. Gone. When I cried, she was always there. So for her, from now on, I am 100% happy. For mom. So I smile and nod. And my mom had this proud look in eyes as if she saw her little baby, growing up and accepting fate, even if it was truly horrific and I could tell that that was all she could ever ask for.

My next few weeks were a roller coaster of emotion. I learned to do so any things that the Robin I knew just a few weeks ago would die for. Everything on my bucket list has a big, fat check mark next to it. I have old friends, new friends, supportive friends and a really supportive family. Finally, everything I could have ever wanted it right in front of me. If only it would last...

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Today is a visiting day. Friends and family welcome. But, this one is special. My deadline is tomorrow. This when I have to say my last goodbyes, final confession, make sure that I leave...happy.

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It takes nearly add day to talk to all of my family, friends and everyone in between. We laugh, we cry, we reminisce and look back on what was the best of times. I spill some of my secrets and apologise for whatever I did to anyone. It's nearing midnight when my last visitor arrives. And it is him.

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