105 Reasons To Die

Day 2

Today was alright, I feel the same way I always do.

I went to school just like I always do, and people stared and talked amongst themselves about me... just like they always do.

Normally at the end of the day I try to find something to look forward to, so I don't end it right then and there, but today I can't think of anything.

It's everyday people don't know how to keep their mouth shut about me and it's everyday I go home dying inside thinking about my future and if things are ever going to change.

I doubt it.

It's not that I'm sad all the time, cause it's not that. I'm just tired of the constant anxiety attacks in the hallways, and the way people stare at me. And just overall the way I'm not accepted, and the way I don't fit in. So I'm not sad, I just try to find reasons to not care.

*flashback to earlier in the day*

I just got off of the bus, and as always, I sat alone the whole 45 minute ride. The bus got here a little earlier, so I'm hoping to avoid the boys.

I walk in the standard double doors, and immediately pace myself to walk as fast as I can without being noticed. But of course, everyone always notices me. But not in the cute, popular girl kind of way. The 'ew she's a freak' kind of way. It doesn't matter, as long as I don't see the boys, I'll be okay.

I walk down the looooong hallway, all the way down to my locker and shove my books in as fast as I can to avoid any contact with anyone. I slam my locker shut and turn around so fast, I barely have time to see the group come and gather around me.

(I said the boys, but its a mixture of girls and boys. The only people that ever do any damage are the three boys though.)