105 Reasons To Die

Day 1

Hi, I'm Lynn. Lately, I've been getting these thoughts about dying. I mean it feels like a sweet surrender, so why not? I feel like everyday I think about it nonstop and I can never get it out of my head. The only thing stopping me is the thought of me hurting my family, or maybe the only thing I have left, my dog. I have no emotions left for myself so why not. I just can't bring myself to do it, so maybe writing this will help.

I figured I would write this before I end up killing myself just so people will have something to remember me by.

I have two parents technically, my dad and my mom but my aunt is there for me the most. I also have a brother and a sister. They don't really know much about me, although, they think they know everything. Like I said, think.

I've been self harming for three years now, my family still doesn't know. And nobody seems to get it. The cutting and suicidal thoughts get worse everyday. I'm slightly on the edge of okay, and suicidal. Most of my close friends know, it's just something we don't like to talk about.

To be completely honest, if I were my parents, and I knew my daughter was the way I am, I would put her in the psych ward immediately. I'm crazy and I'm pretty sure I'm turning out 100 percent like a phycopath.

I feel like I have no one. Yeah there's people to talk to about my problems of slight depression and anxiety, but no one really cares. That's why whenever someone asks "how are you?" we automatically say "fine" or "I'm good how about you?". No one really cares about anyone else except themselves, that's why society is so crappy and nobody wants to be alive to see the future.

I just wanna die. So right now, here's 104 reasons till suicide.

-Lynn

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