"Erin likes girls," they taunt.
"Why don't you get in your seat and stop talking to us if you hate boys so much?" I put my earphones in, blocking out the harassment. It's hard to believe they're in ninth grade. But I agree with the part about Erin to stop talking to them - not because she 'hates' boys - but because she's just asking for trouble. Why does she respond to them and give them more attention? And she so openly checks out girls, of course they're gonna make fun of her. I decide to stop thinking about it and focus on the melodies filling my ears.
When the bus stops at Blossom Way, I neatly place my phone and earbuds into my backpack. "Are you gonna go home and smooch your girlfriend?" One of the kids calls to Erin as she gets out of her seat. Everyone bursts into laughter, but she keeps a serious face and says "I wish I had a girlfriend" - I swear she glances in my direction -which only makes them laugh harder.
I've lived in the same neighborhood as her since I was born. We were best friends until second grade, when other students called us 'girlfriend and girlfriend' and sang 'Hayley and Erin sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g'. Since then I've kept my distance from her, not wanting to be bullied.
The same thing happens everyday. Names thrown at her, stupid comparisons, laughing at their own stupid jokes. And everyday I roll my eyes and ignore the situation. Sure, I'm a lesbian too, but I'm smart enough to keep my mouth shut.
-
Why can't I get Erin off my mind? Something won't let me shut out the thoughts as I lay awake in bed. The look on her face from earlier replays in my head. "I feel kind of bad, like maybe I should do something,"
"No, no, no, then they'll think we're lovers again,"
"But would it be so bad if we were lovers?"
"Yes. Imagine what they'd say," I fight with myself for hours before falling into a dreamless sleep.
-
The morning bus ride goes by, the usual taunting. But what's unusual is I can't bring myself to shut it out. So I just sit, listening to each offensive word, and to each of Erin's clever replies.
Once the ride is over I feel incredibly guilty for not doing anything, but the students words ring in my head. "Fag!" "You'll burn in hell!" "I'll teach you to like boys," I know I don't want them to say those kinds of things to me.
-
The last bell rings and it's time to get on the bus again. I know for sure I've changed my mind about stepping in, so I press play before Erin is even in her seat.
I'm content listening to my music, barely thinking about Erin. The bus arrives at our neighborhood, I put away my phone and stand up to leave. I'm not sure what they said, but everyone is laughing. Erin doesn't have any comebacks - the first time in forever - and when I look to her she has tears streaming down her face. I feel my body heat up with rage and I scream, uncontrollably, "Why don't you leave her the hell alone?!" Erin looks straight into my eyes and I know everything she's feeling; still hurt from what they said, full of fear about what will happen next, and love - for me. I step into the isle and wrap my arm around her waist, planting a soft kiss on her lips. Time slows down, but not for long. We both dart off the bus, linking hands when we reach the road. Several kids come storming after us - who don't even live here - shouting homophobic slurs. "Hayley's one too!" "You guys are disgusting!" their voices drown out behind us and Erin and I just run, hand in hand.
