Scared to Love You ♥ [Niam/Narry 1D BoyxBoy]

Epilogue

It'd been 2 weeks since Niall chose to be with Harry instead of with me. To say I was happy was probably the biggest lie of all time, but I wasn't mad at Niall. But I was probably not mad because it was Niall, and I wanted him to be happy even if it wasn't with me. That's what love was about right? Making sure the person you were in love with was happy. That's all I really wanted honestly, and even though it hurt horribly that Niall choose him over me it was okay because nothing changed. We still had movie night, and he'd still steal my food and Harry would still leave his clothes everywhere. Everyone in the house was really tense as first, honest to god you could hear a pin drop the first night. It was that silent, but then it just wasn't. Slowly but surely without us even realizing it everything fell back into place, nobody was tiptoeing around the subject of NiallandHarry or HarryandNiall. 

Sometimes, I'd sit down at night and just think for hours upon hours. I'd just stare at the ceiling until morning and Ale came to take me out of my trance like state for breakfast. I guess you could say that's what I was doing now, just sitting here waiting for a short American girl came to wake me from my trance like if it was a thing. Which it wasn't, it just happened a lot since Niall's decision. I couldn't really sleep most nights so I didn't really have any other choice. So I'll just lay here, on my bed looking at the ceiling until further notice. 

Suddenly my door was opened so I already knew who it was, she was the only one who came up to make me get up now. Niall may have gone back to normal but there are somethings that need time and the wake up calls are one of them. I couldn't possibly get over Niall if he was the first person I saw in the morning. 

"Liam, time for breakfast. It'd be nice if you got up." Ale said sounding groggy and a tad bit exhausted.

"I'll be down in a second, let me just get some clothes on." On the contrary to her voice my voice was hoarse but quite clear. It was a bit cringe worthy hearing me talk after hours of silence.

"Liam actually, can I speak to you for a minute?" I looked up to see Ale come into my room and shut the door behind her. 

"Okay, whats up? why are you being so gruesomely sullen, apart from the Niall thing of course. I know something else is up." Her voice was concerned which made me smile, to know someone cared made me happy. But it kind of made me a tad upset because I wasn't really up to talk about the things that I thought about endlessly at night.

"Honestly?... I feel alone. I mean everyone was a pair now y'know? Niall's with Harry, and then Zayn's with Perrie and Lou is with Eleanor. I feel kind of selfish that way, because I don't have that special someone and me and Danielle, well that's over. I love her loads, I swear I do but I'm not IN love with her, and same goes for her. She isn't in love with me either, so It's not like I can be with her. I just... I feel alone and lonely and it kind of sucks." My voice broke in the end, and I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks with the confession but I just smiled up sadly at the girl across from me anyways. 

"I wanna show you something, can I?" I tilted my head unconsciously to the side at the question. After all that she wanted to show me something? She didn't want to say anything, which was a shock to me but I just nodded my head. I didn't get up though.

"Um I'm gonna go stand... over there, by the door- facing the door. While you um get dressed..." I laughed at how she stuttered as she quickly went to face the door and cover her eyes with her hands for good measure. 

I quickly got dressed with some stuff that was in my first drawer quickly before I tapped on the girls shoulder. 

"You done?" Her voice came out as a squeak which made my laugh shaking my head slightly at her shyness but saying yes anyways as she uncovered her eyes. She smiled at me quickly before grabbing my forearm and practically dragging me downstairs. 

We stopped around the corner from the kitchen, I was about to continue inside but she stopped me on my tracks, whispering for me to look. 

"What do you see?" her voice was quiet but I could hear her quickly, I was pretty confused. She sounded cryptic but all that was in the kitchen were the guys. 

"Um I see 4 of my band mates eating breakfast?" she slapped me across the head.

"No I mean, look at them. Look at how they act around each other, don't they look dependent. On each other I mean? Like they'd break if the other wasn't around?" She made a small pause and let me see what she was bluntly pointing out to me. 

It was weird, it was like I was looking at my best friends from an entirely different perspective. They looked at each other, with such intense admiration it kind of hurt to look at. Not to mention how they sat, I mean obviously Harry and Niall would sit close but it was all of them, it this tiny little huddle when they had this huge marble counter they could be spread out it. 

"You can see somethings missing thought right? and you know what's missing, it's you. You need to be there too, being codependent and taking up every ones personal space just like they are. That's what you guys do, together. You cross boundaries and have no restraints and do things without thinking but that's what makes you guys different. That's what makes up One Direction. And yeah, Niall choose Harry and I'm sorry Y'know? But he loves you, your his best friend and he misses the old you. As do everyone else, harry included because well he's Harry and you guys were pretty close too.

"Do you get what I'm saying though? Even when they all have that 'special' someone they still need each other. No matter who they date, and how long, or since when they will always need each other. And they'll always need you, so when you feel alone. You get off your pretty little bum and walk up to whoever catches your fancies door. Even if its 4am because if you need them they're there. Just like you would be if you were in their position."

I just looked ahead of me, at my best friends, at the brothers I always wanted and smiled. Yeah maybe I don't have that one person right now, but that doesn't really matter. Because I have 4 other 'the ones' right in front of me. And the best part is they need me as much as I need them, and that's really all I need in this very second. 

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Yay <3 I wrote it and I think its not that bad? This really isn't my writing style anymore, I've been doing a lot of third person so this was horridly hard to write. BUT I enjoyed writing it because It calmed some of my anxiety. Oh yeah speaking of anxiety if its not very flowy and doesn't really fit your epilogue expectations I'm sorry I'm just going through some stuff and I wasn't really in the zone but I tried. 

The people who asked for the epilogue here it is, took forever and a year but I finally wrote it all in one sitting. I apologize for messing up Liam's voice I think. Anyways Enjoy and thank you for reading my lovelies.

Love,

Ale xx