Bruises

Ch.20-Sweetheart You Mean Everything

I was scared shitless walking into Victor's apartment building. We hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms and I felt like I was walking into my own ambush.

"Victor, I'm pregnant, and it's not your baby." I ran the sentence through my head over and over again, trying to find a way that made it sound less horrible than it did, but I couldn't. All I could really do was tell him straight up and hope I could get to the door before anything was thrown at me.

"Don't worry," I whispered, rubbing my hand over my stomach. "I won't let anything happen to you."

And with that at the forefront of my mind, I raised my fist and knocked three times on the door.

I bounced on the balls of my feet with the consuming urge to run away, but I forced myself to stay where I was. I had come, there was no use escaping it. It was something that had to be done.

The door opened and Victor appeared, wearing a wife-beater and low-slung jeans. He seemed generally surprised to see it was me. His gaze travelled over my body, and I felt self-conscious for a second, like he would know instantly right there what was up. But then he leaned against the door jam and stuck his hands in his pockets, lips curling up in a self-satisfied smirk. "Well, well, well. Look who came crawling back."

I forced a smile. "Hi, Victor."

"Elsie."

"Can-can I come in?"

"I guess." He stepped aside, allowing me entrance. My body tensed up on its own when I passed him, an automatic defense mechanism. How could I have been so blind before? Being around him I felt like an animal trapped in a cage. How could I have thought that was what was best for me?

And now that I thought about it, the only reason I was here was because of the baby. If not for the life growing inside me, I probably wouldn't have gained the courage to come back over and end things with him.

The door shut, and I jumped. I smoothed my sweaty palms over my thighs, going through every breathing maneuver I could think of to keep my heartbeat steady and not freak out. I was done freaking out.

You can't be a wimp anymore, Elsie, that little voice stated with finality. You've got a child to take care of now. You can't let everybody push you around.

And you know what?

That voice was right.

It was my life, my future, my baby. If I wanted this child to grow up in circumstances drastically better than what I was thrown into, then I had to start molding that future now. Loose ends needed to be tied up, and detrimental risks needed to be left behind. No matter what I went through, this baby wouldn't have to suffer. It didn't matter what I had to do.

As it's mother, I would make sure it didn't. That just wasn't an option.

Forcing those words into my brain was what supplied me with the bravado I needed to face Victor with a calmness and serenity I had certainly never felt before around him. I would need everything I had. Victor's face, his demands, his leering voice, haunted me for so long, corrupting everything inside of me . . . It would be hard, but that didn't mean impossible.

Victor folded his arms over his chest, something I recalled him doing whenever he wanted to look tough in front of me. To intimidate me.

Not anymore.

"So what brings you here, babe? An apology, I hope. You've been ignoring my calls."

I remained close to the door. He was acting calm, but I could see the storm brewing below the surface. The anger residing in those steely grey eyes. He was completely and unquestionably pissed off. That did not bode well for me at all, no matter how my cards played out. There was only one end result I could think of; me running for my life.