"I for a long time was so unhappy. We have had so many ups and downs, and they taught me so much. I love you Devin, and I don't ever ever want anything else to come in between us." I sighed.
"So what's your answer?" He asked.
"Yes, I'll marry you again." I said finally.
Although my pride was telling me not to, I had to listen to my heart. My brain wasn't making any sense at this point and I didn't want it to. I wanted my husband back and my family. I want to wake up and make love to my husband. I want to make breakfast in the morning and I want not to have to change a light bulb but most importantly, I don't want to try to live without what makes me Joy.
That's how it should have went. I should have said yes, but I didn't. I was scared, scared of re committing myself to the man I loved for so long. So scared, that I shut down. I couldn't say anything I just cried. That's how I spent my birthday. Crying, I didn't give an answer but I was so upset that I just left.
I love Devin, I love Devin so much but I just couldn't bring myself to say yes to him in that moment.
After the party, a few weeks later I found out that that night he came by my house in the middle of the night we conceived a child. Something that I didn't even know was possible. For about two months, I dodged his calls and now, finding out that I had conceived a child with him, I couldn't just not tell him.
"Hey." I said sitting at the table with my jacket closed in front of him.
I swear I'm already starting to show already.
"Hey, you look beautiful." He said touching my hand.
"Thank you." I said lowly.
"So what's wrong? I talked to Little D about the grades. I see improvement, it's slight but I can tell he's trying." He said and I smiled.
I couldn't handle Little Devin and his school antics, so I asked that Devin Sr handle it.
"No, not that. I saw his grades and I want to say thank you for that." I said to him.
"It's my job." He shrugged. "Daddy duties." He winked.
I nodded my head. Another child will be calling him daddy very soon.
"I wanted to call you and um, ask uh." I said not wanting to just jump right into a conversation about my pregnancy.
"What is it Lauren?" He asked.
That made my stomach turn a bit. He didn't call my Joy.
"Are you like, seeing anyone?" I asked him and he furrowed his eyebrows taken aback.
"Where is this coming from?"
"I just, I need to know. Please be honest." I told him.
"No Lauren, I'm not seeing anyone. What's going on?" He asked. "Are you?"
"Stop calling me Lauren." I shook my head.
"Is that not your name?" He asked.
I sighed. "It is but, I-I thought I was your Joy." I said.
