Prologue

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A/N: Backstory time.

Kirstie
It was a curse, or a gift depending on who you asked. A secret that I kept within myself since my adolescence. As my body slowly grew from a child into a woman, as I clumsily discovered myself, discovered my body, discovered, well... sex; I discovered a super-hero like power.
It sounds silly, I know. You can imagine a 12 year old Kirstie, excited, terrified, as she pushed her body through the threshold of it's very first orgasm. Something all of the edgy, more 'mature' girls in middle school used to chat about in secret. I thought having touched myself would put me in the know... In the crowd. I would finally find out what all the girls in school where so cheeky about.
I was wrong.
This new discovery isolated me even more.
When I learned what I could do, with my body, or my brain or... Something!
I could freeze time.
Stay with me, now...
When I have an orgasm, time literally stops! I know that sounds like a cheesy R&B lyric but I mean it literally. My orgasms transport me to a dimension identical to this one, except everything and everyone is frozen in their place. Clocks freeze, technology stops, people are frozen still, running water is stuck in place like jello; Everything as a bluish greenish haze over it, like opening your eyes in the ocean. There was a silence that was quieter than quiet, like just after it snows.
Discovering sex, isolated me. I tried desperately to learn as much as I could about sex to find any sort of answer as to what my body was doing. I had read many books, and even was bold enough to ask around, my mom, a gynecologist, even the 'easy' girls from school. My peers thought I was crazy, the adults in my life simply weren't willing to explain sex to me, but I understood more than they thought.
As I grew and progressed through high school, and college, and this boyfriend and that boyfriend... I began to appreciate this new environment of mine that I called: "In Secret". I named it this because in this world, I could move around and jump and scream at the top of my lungs and do whatever I pleased and no one knew it at all until the pause faded away and they where left with the aftermath of the things I had done. I could get away with anything "In Secret".
When I finally shared my body with a boy for the first time during my senior year of high school, I crossed over "In Secret" as he stayed frozen on the bed. I couldn't find a partner who could do what I could, so I preferred to get there by myself (which I enjoyed more anyway).

Avi
I saw porn for the first time at a sleepover when I was in the sixth grade. At Kevin's house, some friends of ours; Scott, Mitch, and Tim where having one of our usual Friday night sleepovers. Where we'd play Frogger, eat unhealthy snacks and make fart jokes. One night however, before we decided to sleep, Tim spoke up.
"Guys, I brought something." He said. He dug through his backpack and pulled out a rolled up magazine. "I found this in my Dad's garage." He unrolled it to reveal the cover.
A woman, with the largest, make that ONLY pair of breasts I'd ever seen.
"Boobs!" Scott exclaimed,
"Sshh! My parents are upstairs!" Kevin said.
"Eew!" Mitch gagged.
"Woah..." Was all I could say.
I had never felt that before. That certain feeling coming from my midsection. I didn't know what I thought was underneath girls clothes but now that I knew something... I couldn't get it out of my head. That woman, any woman, almost every woman I knew.
I liked women.
More than I ever had before.
I was changing. Rapidly... There was new hair, everywhere! I was taller, my voice was embarrassing me every time I opened my mouth. My penis... I touched it. I thought I might be killed or be sucked into hell if I touched it for too long so I always stopped.
There was a lot of talk about what happened when you touched your dick, an explosion. These 6th grade definitions of sex where later clarified by a sex Ed class, and still, I was afraid to push myself that far.
Until I met my music teacher.
Ms. Bareilles. The prettiest, nicest, most fascinating woman I knew, and she taught my favorite subject. One day I asked a question in class so she came up to my desk to speak to me privately.  She smelled nice, her voice was soothing, she touched my shoulder gently and smiled her pretty smile. Then it happened, she sneezed and it shook her body. She was so close to me that her breast grazed my arm lightly. She hadn't even noticed. But I had. I felt a stiffness in the front of my body I panicked, I knew it was visible. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to walk if I tried. I asked to have a bathroom pass and bolted.
When I was in a stall I opened my pants and breathed in relief from the tightness.
I had to get rid of it.
I had to do it.
-----------------------------------------------
When I finished, I was relieved to find that I was still alive, I wasn't in pain, nothing bad happened at all, in fact, it felt amazing!
But something else had happened. The room was silent. Like more silent than it had been before. I peered out of the stall, and there was a kid standing at the sink. Completely. Still. I creeped up to him to see if I were imagining this.
He was frozen, and the water flowing from the sink was stuck in mid air.
I felt dizzy, maybe I'd fallen asleep, and this was a dream. I looked at the clock on the wall: completely still. The air was, blue... Like a blue-ish green haze. I hid in a bathroom stall until people started moving again. But I did it a second time when I got home, just to see if it would happen again.
That night after dinner, I went upstairs into my room and sat down at my old desktop computer. By this point I knew where to find the porn. A few videos later and I was holding my breath and shivering until the colors in the room started to change again. Back to the blue-ish haze. The computer screen froze, my watch stopped. I went downstairs and saw my siblings staring at each other mid-argument. My mom stood completely still at the kitchen sink, my dad was frozen on the couch, pointing the remote at the tv.
What was this place?
And am I alone here?

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