Just Normal

Chapter 6

I plopped down on my chair. I think I was ready.

I really, really wasn't. It had been 5 hours since I've  gotten home and I still haven't written my essay. Garrett wasn't available this week because he told me that he had to. . . get a blow out, whatever that meant.

Well, I guess I can't write my essay.

Except I actually had to. I already had a C in English and I couldn't afford to fail the class. I also couldn't procrastinate any further because I had already eaten, online shopped for a chimpanzee, and cleaned my room. Who knew I had molding Oreo's under my bed?

And there was another problem: I had no idea what to write about. I'm pretty sure that when the teacher was telling us what the essay was supposed to be about a week ago  I was pulling out this freakishly painful hangnail. Sue me, but that took a lot of concentration.

I think I ran around my room a few times flailing my arms before I thought Isn't Mary in English with me?

I didn't know anybody in English class, so I didn't really have a choice. Did I have her phone number? No. I make an effort not to creepily ask for a girl's phone number. Not that I think of her as anything other than a uh, guy-friend. I mean, girl friend. I mean...

It doesn't matter!

That left me only one choice. I pulled on my coat and ninjaed my way out the door and carefully walked across the street. When I reached her door, I hesitated to ring the doorbell because it was already 9 o'clock and her parents could be sleeping. Mine were.

I decided that I would just go to her window and ask her from there because I'm just a considerate person that way.

I quietly tiptoed to the gate that led to the back of her house and what I assumed were the windows to her bedroom. Her house looked not too different from mine except it was smaller and painted a mint green color.

As I jumped the gate, I tried not think about how incredible stalkerish this would seem to somebody watching. However, usually I make an effort not to think about my actions as I'm doing them because then I'd probably die in a puddle of regret at how stupid the things I did were.

After a good 5 minutes of self-pity and promptly failing as I fell off the gate rather ungracefully, I reached the back of her house. There were two windows: one with lights and the other without. I deduced that because Mary's dad is old, he'd probably be asleep and wouldn't have lights on.

First, I tried whisper screaming at the window, "Mary! Mary! Mary! Maryyyyyyy! Mary!"

But that didn't work.

So I walked in a circle and came up with another bright idea. I reached down and picked up a small, smooth pebble and chucked it at the window. And missed.

I tried with another and with a ping! the pebble bounced off the glass of her window. Nothing happened for a few minutes, so I decided to grab a handful of bigger pebbles and start chucking them at the window one by one.

All of the sudden, the window was ripped open and a man with a bald head and brown beard poked through the hole, "Who on earth are you? Get off of my property! You little piece of panther scat, if you don't leave right this second, I will come down there and I will not hesitate to give you a piece of my mind, boy!"

His bald head was shining with anger and sweat as it kept on bobbing with rage, and he turned it to shout into his house, "Mary, get over here! There's a boy down here and I want you to call the police!"

"Mister! Mister! Calm down! I just wanted to talk to Mary about an English assignment. Please! I'm just a teenager, I couldn't even throw the rocks correctly!"