Wanderlust

Chapter 1

The nerves are killing me while I stare at the door to her office. My hands are shaking tremendously.

 Raven don't be nervous, this is your mom.

 You can talk to her about anything.

 Remember that. 

Her words are racing through my mind like a sports car on a race track.  I inhaled a deep breath. All I have to do is convince her,  then she can talk to dad. I'm nineteen years old. I'm sure they will understand that it's time to let me go. 

I open the door and see that she is on the computer typing up what I assumed to be business emails. She doesn't take notice that I'm in the room and she doesn't stop typing. 

You can do this Raven.

"Mom we need to talk"I finally let out the breath I forgot I was holding. I nervously twiddled my fingers as I felt my heart beating hard against my chest. I was finally ready. Ready to free me from my shelter. Ready to take my own path in life.

"What is it now Raven?" She took one glance at me and continued to type rapidly on her computer.

Straight to the point.

"I've thought long and hard about this. I know you probably won't agree-"

"Raven, You know I'm very busy just get on with it." She cut me off with the stern glare that I quickly learned to grow accustomed to. Then she went back to her typing.

"I want to move out."  Almost immediately after those words left my mouth her typing froze and it was quiet. I began fidgeting with the hem of my shirt to  my discomfort in the confrontation.

I have never mentioned the idea of moving out to my parents. They have always taken such good care of me and when I was thirteen I made a promise that we would all stay together and nothing could ever drift us apart.

"What do you mean you want to move out?" Her bright blue eyes gave me a quizzical expression that is putting my nerves on edge. I was always jealous of her beautiful eyes, they complimented her tan skin perfectly.

"I mean exactly that mama. I want to get a job go to college begin my own independent life."

"Honey, is there something wrong? Your father and I have worked so hard to give you everything." She looked as if she was about to burst into tears at any given moment. Her full attention was towards me and not the computer. We both stared into each other eyes for what felt like years but was merely only a few seconds. I always shared a strong connection with my mom, she was and still is my first best friend.

"Mama, you and dad have given me everything that I could ever wish for. This isn't about you guys. I want to grow up and live on my own get a job and get married and live my life." I gnawed at my lip inside of my mouth. You can do this Raven stay strong. Don't let the guilt trip get to you.

"Raven, honey, your dad and I have laid out everything for you. You will take over our business and later on when we find that you are ready we will allow you to pick whatever house you want to live in." She gave me a small smile. 

Her smile always did comfort me. It never failed. She and dad have always told me that when I grow up I would take over the family business. It's a flower arrangement business that has run on my mom's side of the family for years. While, my dad is chief at the police department of our town in Apalachicola Florida.

 My parents have always supported me and I have never wanted to disrespect them in anyways. They have shown me an incredible amount of love over, but they are extremely protective. They have never let me leave the house without one of them. In my 19 years of life, I have never been to a traditional physical school, a sleepover.  To be honest, I really have never wanted to either. Especially not after the stories that my dad brings home from work every day. There are so many scary things happening to girls that are my age. Things like rape, murder, trafficking, kidnapping, teen pregnancy, etc. They want to protect me from ever having to face those horrors of life. I know this already.