Evolve

Wishes

"I want an adoring family, encouraging friends and empathetic relatives." this is what all of us wish for. And then we have

Two viruses:

1. Nafs (effects: jealousy, arrogance, temper, showoff, ego et cetera)

2. Satan (effects: fights, negative thoughts, backbiting et cetera)

Two Antiviruses:

1. Forgive

2. Forget

Two handling utilities:

1. Silence

2. Patience

Allah blessed us with family, friends, and relatives to make us feel "we are not alone". They are the initialized partners of your good times and bad times. Even sharing love & peace with them is a reward in itself. We need to learn to forgive each other.

Okay, It might not be as easy as I think to forgive and forget but the reward for this will be much more than I can ever imagine.

I hope you all know. There was a Jewish neighbor who threw garbage in front of Rasoolullah Sall Allahu Alaihi Wasallam's door every day. The day she did not the prophet went to make sure she was ok. We are blessed to be the ummah of Rasoolullah Sall Allahu Alaihi Wasallam. If we don't take lessons from his life and act like a believer then who'll?! Do you know the lady who ate the flesh of Rasoolullah Sall Allahu Alaihi Wasallam's paternal uncle'Hamza Radi Allahu Tala Anha' (chacha) in the battle of Uhud, was forgiven when she expressed her love for Islam and apologized to Rasoolullah Sall Allahu Alaihi Wasallam! Who are we to not forgive each other for our silly worldly disputes! We may not be able to forget what we have been through but holding grudges won't help instead take it as a lesson and be prepared for the next time not to take revenge but to stay strong and defend yourself.

When we are hurt by someone, we must either talk to that someone or to the creator(Al-Adl, The Just; Al-Azeez, The Mighty; Al-Muqeet, The Sustainer) of that someone. If we make it a habit and avoid backbiting and gossiping then we can save our rewards and please Allah.

When you feel like 'you need to share it with someone' then share it with someone who is wise, positive and fears Allah.

There are times when you see something wrong and you want people to understand you but being straight forward would hurt their sentiments. For this my mama(mamma's brother) told me a story that is as follows:

Once Imam Hussain Radi Allahu Tala Anha saw an old man performing ablution incorrectly. Imam Hussain Radi Allahu Tala Anha asked the old man "Will you please guide me if I make a mistake while performing ablution?" The old man replied: "Sure." when Imam Hussain Radi Allahu Tala Anha performed ablution, the old man realized his mistake. This is how Imam Hussain Radi Allahu Tala Anha made him realize his mistake without hurting his sentiments.

Every wedding must have a theme or a dress code. When the families, friends, and relatives wear similar clothes it feels like they are saying "we are one". We need to respect each other's principles rather than forcing others to accept and follow ours. We need get-togethers where everyone can equally participate and don't have to make different groups for group discussions.

Shiv Khera writes:

"You have to get away from the past. Dust yourself off & get back into the mainstream. Put your dreams together and move forward. Thinking of the positive things that are true, honest and good, will put you in a positive state of mind."

Look For The Gold:

Andrew Carnegie came to America from Scotland as a young boy. He started out by doing odd jobs and ended up as one of the largest steel manufacturers in the United States. At one time, he had 43 millionaires working for him. A million dollars is a lot of money today, but in the 1920s, it was worth much more.

Someone once asked Mr. Carnegie how he dealt with people. Andrew Carnegie replied, "Dealing with people is a lot like digging for gold: When you go digging for an ounce of gold you have to move tons of dirt. But when you go digging, you don't go looking for dirt, you go looking for gold."

Andrew Carnegie's reply has a very important message. Though sometimes it may not be apparent there is something positive in every person and every situation. We have to dig deep to look for the positive.

  -Syeda Neha