One Shots 3.0 [boyxboy]

Double Trouble

Danny's cheeks started to turn pink but I spared him the embarrassment of looking at him and just continued to eat my cereal innocently.

Shit got kind of weird after that. Like, not in a huge way, but there was definitely some awkwardness. It was like we didn't know how to be together, you know, in that capacity. Sometimes we'd sit platonically on the couch together and watch TV, unless I got frustrated with that and shuffled in under one of his arms or threw my legs across his lap. I'd kind of thought we were falling into a pattern with the whole kissing thing - I'd kissed him first, he'd kissed me second, and I'd sure as shit kissed him third, but... I also kissed him fourth. And fifth. And sixth. And so on. It started getting to the point where even though I knew he was enjoying it, it still felt like he didn't want it.

Worst of all was the "Dylan" thing. He stopped calling me Trouble. Now it was all, 'Morning, Dylan,' and, 'Dylan, what do you feel like for dinner?' Like, what? It made me frustrated and annoyed for a reason I was having difficulty discerning.

The first couple of nights of that week I slept in his bed with him, pretty naturally since Abby had declined to go home and it wasn't like I could bunk in with she and Mason. But around midweek she insisted on going back to her place - 'For an apartment that has predominantly gay tenants, you guys have exactly zero good toiletries,' - and because things had been so weird I was pretty content to let myself fall asleep on the couch while the three of us watched TV that night.

I woke - but didn't open my eyes - when the room went silent as they prepared to get up and go to bed.

'So what are we doing with him tonight, then?' Mason asked, obviously meaning me.

I'd fallen asleep with my head on Danny's chest, and I felt him shrug. 'Which do you think he'd prefer?' he asked quietly, trying not to wake me.

'Well,' Mason said thoughtfully. 'I'm pretty sure he's pretending to be asleep so he doesn't have to make that decision, so I'm gonna leave it up to you.'

I made very sure not to move or react, and just kept breathing evenly, furiously instructing myself not to smile because the corners of my mouth really wanted to do just that.

Danny poked me on the arm a couple of times to see if Mason was right, but I just made some sleepy grumbling sounds and buried my face further into his chest.

'I think that's your answer,' Mason told him, laughing, and I heard him getting up to disappear into his room, solo.

'Come on, you,' Danny said softly, nudging me harder now, and I pretended to wake up.

'What?' I demanded, making my voice sound sleepier than it actually was.

'Bedtime,' he said, making no effort to disguise the amusement in his voice.

I got up and tripped into his room after him, collapsing on "my" side of the bed and waiting for him to turn off the light and join me. I lay there and waited for him to do something, anything - kiss me goodnight, pull my head back onto his shoulder, spoon me, whatever. But he didn't. He lay on his back for a few moments and then rolled over and faced the other way. I tried not to let the disappointment crush me, but it was kind of weird feeling like he was so passive that he just went along with it when I made the first move but never felt inclined to do the same. It felt kind of like rejection, which was not something I was used to and certainly wasn't something I'd been expecting from the guy who had allegedly been crushing on me for over three years.

This small seed of bitterness started building into a pretty nasty resentment, which I characteristically chose to express through passive aggression and petty avoidance. By Friday of spring break, one day shy of a week since I'd first kissed him, I had given up on initiating altogether and made a point of sitting as far away from his as possible on the couch. A couple of nights I even disappeared into Mason's room to sleep while they were both distracted, so nobody could make a big deal out of it.