There was a time about a year ago when I could feel that fire within me singing praise fo Jesus. It would burn inside me. A warmth nothing could possibly replace. I smiled all the time. I was not afraid or ashamed. I walked proud with my head held high. I was a child of God and proud of it. He was my father.
My friend.
My healer.
I loved Him with all of my heart. Nothing could bring me down. Nothing.
Then, I changed. I started to get more and more insecure. I was terrified of what people thought about me. I felt that flame inside me slowly get dimmer and smaller. Part of me grasped on to it in desperation to keep it. I lost the battle. I sank into a depression that no one could see. I believed that no one cared about me. That no one loved me. I started cutting. I would constantly put myself down. I didn't think I mattered. My flame was gone. I cried in sorrow everytime I sang my fake praise to God. For a while, I couldn't sing at all. My voice, my love was gone. I hardly smiled or laughed anymore. If I did, it was fake a lot of the times. I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. I became numb.
Emotionless.
A zombie.
A mere shadow of what I used to be.
Then, I started thinking. People helped me. Showed me that someone cared. That someone loved me. I stopped cutting. I went to church one Sunday night and it finalized my decision.
I was done. I was done with the lies. I was done with the insecurities. I was done with the cutting. I was sick and tired of giving in. I bowed my head and prayed to God for forgiveness and healing. I was forgiven. I was healed. I walk again with my head held high. I no longer have thousands of insecurities screaming at me. I no longer thought of God as just my father, healer, or friend. He is my EVERYTHING. He has saved me. I go against the flow. I will follow God through anything. I will be forever obedient to Him. I will worship Him with everything in me. The flame inside of me is alive. It once again sings of praise for Him. Louder and more than ever. I am free.
The story of @SkyScraper1357..............
