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(filler chapter bc i felt like writing at school :^) please don't hurt me. new part coming this afternoon. i feel really grim right now. please forgive me)

(major tw; suicide / self harm

they'd fallen asleep after breakfast, laying on the couch and watching tv lazily.

brendon didn't point it out, but he'd seen something terrible during that bath. not just bruises. well, not just on his hips. and something grim littered his arms.

brendon woke up, rolling over to greet ryan.

but, he wasn't there. he panicked for a moment, feeling his heart race.

he went upstairs. nothing.

"ryan?" he called out into the house, only to get no response.

"ryan!" he shouted, tears pricking at the edges of his eyes. did he leave? did he forget me?

brendon put his hand to his head and ran back downstairs, pacing around. "oh my god. oh my god. he's gone" he whispered, and had a thought. he pulled out his phone and dialed ryan's number, and sighed with relief when he heard it ring from upstairs. his feet practically fell up the wooden stairs.

he went into ryan's bedroom and followed the tone, until he'd reached the closet. it was ringing from somewhere that was up high.

brendon's heart sank.

he slammed the locked closet door open, glancing up and choking. "fuck, no. ryan. ryan. you can't do this to me, man. WAKE UP! RYAN! GODDAMMIT!" brendon screamed, grabbing ryan's hung up body and hugging it tightly, tears leaking endlessly from his face. "no. no. no. this is my fault. ryan. FUCK!" he sobbed, his hands tightening around the corpse of ryan as the salt flowing freely from his eyes stained it.

he felt something on his shoulders. hands.

he shook violently.

–––––––––––––––––

(i'm so sorry for this.)

(ps: i listened to lonely moonlight and started crying in my history class. oops)

(pps: dont hurt me tmrw. love you :^) )

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