One Night

Chapter 11. Zach

I almost fucked that up. Every time I get anywhere near Scarlet, my fucking dick seems to have a mind of its own. 

    Its been seven days since I walked out of her life. I could not get her out my head.   I kept having flashbacks of our night together. Every goddamn waking hour. I even bloody dream about her. I usually wake up in a sweat and a damn hard cock.

    It's a good thing that I've been staying with Cam. Celine wanted to have some sort of distance before the wedding. We both agreed to abstain from having sex. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or some shit like that.

    Celine left for her hen weekend with her friends this morning, I packed my bags, took my car and decided to hunt Scarlet's place down. I know it's wrong but I need some sort of closure. Maybe Scarlet's not as amazing as I thought.  Maybe I was remembering it wrong. I had to know.

    I have a couple of days off and I just wanted to see where this goes with Scarlet. It took me a couple of hours to find her place but eventually I found her flat. The place looked empty so I decided to check in at the closest hotel, freshen up and drive back to her place and wait like a bloody stalker.

    I really don't know what I'm doing here.

     I haven't even told anyone where I am.

    I am well aware that I am coming off as a prick here.

    I have a fiancé and soon to be married but I am panting after this girl like a dog in heat. I know its unfair. For both of them. But I think I owe it to myself to see if I am making the right choice.

    I knew I should have thought of 'making the right choice' before asking Celine to marry me. I thought I was making the right choice at the time. I really did.

     That was two years ago. That was before Celine cheated on me and joined the mile high club.

    That was before Scarlet.

    I should have just broken it off with Celine, like Cam suggested, when I caught her fucking around with another man. But I didn't. I couldn't. I loved her. I still do.

    This is not a revenge fuck.

    It's not cold feet. 

    I am not using Scarlet.

    "Here you go," the girl behind the bar said snapping me out of my thoughts. We  decided to go for a drink instead of coffee so we went to the closest pub near her flat. It's a quiet night. There's not a lot of people here so it will be easy to talk. Well, relatively easy.

    Scarlet was sat in a booth towards the back looking at her phone. She was biting her lip and looked nervous.  I paid for the drinks and headed towards her.

    "A penny for your thoughts," I said as I slid beside her in the booth. She took the drink I placed in front of her and had a quick sip.

    Scarlet looked sexy, in an understated way, in her skinny jeans and off the shoulder top. A glimpse of her bra strap and slender shoulders was teasing my control.  Her long mahogany hair flowing down her back in waves. The scent of her tickling my nose. I was itching to bury my face in her hair, lick her neck then bite that sensitive junction on her shoulder. So tempting.

    We were both quiet for sometime.

    "So. . ." she said, as she turned slightly in her seat to face me. Her hands cradling the drink in her hand.   

    "So. . . " I replied, turning towards her in the seat.  Where do I start? I didn't really come here with a plan. I just wanted to see her. Be close to her. Be with her.

    "Why are you here Zach?"

    Her face was impassive and I could not gauge how she was feeling right now. For all I know she was laughing behind that vacant expression on her face or murdering me in her head. I don't blame her.

    Honesty it is. Well, as honest as I could be.

    "I wanted to see you"

    She sat there quietly and studied me for a while. Assessing the validity and sincerity of my statement. Her gaze was piercing and I tried my best not to flinch. As if she knows I'm hiding something. Fuck. . . .

    "Okay," she stated in a calm voice as she continued to sip her drink. That 'okay' does not feel like okay. It sounded empty.

    I shifted in my seat. Okay? That's it? I should really feel relieved that she's not asking a lot of questions but instead I feel like a jackass.

    "I am sorry for the way I left. I was a dick, simple as. As soon as the taxi pulled away, I wanted to go back and see you. This has been the longest seven days of my life. I couldn't get you out of my head--"

    "You feel guilty?" she interrupted. Her gaze averted from me and was now pointed over my shoulder. She wasn't looking at me at all and I feel damn small.

    I do feel guilty.

    "Scarlet," I started, as I sighed in resignation. "I cannot change the way I acted the last time I was with you. I can only apologise for my actions. For not getting to know you better, for leaving like that and not asking to see you again. For sleeping. . . . No, I am not apologising for sleeping with you because that was one of the most amazing experience in my life, hands down," I admitted truthfully.

    I put my drink down on the table and reached for her hand. It was soft but cold as ice. I detected a slight tremble. Her hand looked so delicate and small in mine.

    "Hey, please. Look at me," I said softly as I dragged my finger from the tip of her longest finger, down the middle of her palm and settled on her pulse. It was beating so fast.

    I kept dragging my finger up and down her hand feeling that same electric pulse I experienced the first time I touched her. It feels good. She feels good. I tilted my head to the side catching her gaze and holding it. She looked like she was ready to capitulate.

    She turned and dropped her head on the table with a soft thud. Her hair fell over her face as she shook her bent head from side to side.

      I sidled closer to her in the seat as I attempted to pull her hair off her face with one hand. "Scarlet, baby. . . ."

    "Imanotobutcall"

    "Pardon?" What she said did not make any sense at all. I bent over and placed my head on the table facing her. I was still holding her hand and caressing her pulse. I felt grounded by touching her. She slowly turned her head to face me, some hair falling across her face.

    "I am not a booty call," she repeated.

    Shit-bags. I am not explaining myself well here. Is that what she think I want? I did not want a fuck buddy.

    I just want to get to know her.

    "You're not-- I don't want you to be," I quickly replied as I moved her hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. We must look like a right pair. We were sat in this booth with our heads on the table, looking at each other. But I don't give a rats-ass what anyone thinks.

    All that matters is Scarlet.

    She gazed into my eyes for the longest time and must have found what she was looking for as she slowly gave me a tentative smile.

    "Okay," she said again.

This time I know she meant it.

"Okay," I replied with a smile.