Redemption

Chapter Uno.

Do you remember the first time you were ever in love? The feeling you got from just hearing that persons name? The feeling you felt when you got a text, a phone call, or got to see them? All the butterflies flying around your tummy from hearing their voice? From hearing them speak your name? The acceptence you feel from them? You fall deeply in love, head over heels in love. 

But, all of a sudden, you don't get those texts anymore. You find yourself wondering where they went. Why you don't see them anymore. You don't get greeted in the morning by your love. Or you don't get the 2 AM phone calls just so they can remind you how much they love you. No more staying out until early hours in the morning with who you thought was your lover. So instead, you cry. You cry, and wonder "what did I ever do to deserve this? Why did they leave?" You have all these questions, but yet, no answers. Now your thinking how stupid you were. How idiotic and blind you were to not know this was going to happen. 

Next, you find out they have moved on. You figure out they have a new friend. A new person taking your place. Theres someone new sleeping in your spot on the bed. Kissing what use to be your lips. Holding what use to be your pride, life and joy. And they are happy. And you, are nothing. Sad, no one to talk to, because you abandonned your friends to mantain a strong relationship with who you thought was your true love. 

Of course, you still aren't quite sure why you were left in the first place. But who knows if there is even a reason behind the sudden dissapearence of your lover.  But what you do know, is you want them back. You would do anything, just to see there face again. To be there friend. To hold them tight, and never let go. To have another chance. But do you really want a second chance? Of course you  do! But the question is, do you think people can change that fast? Well yea, I know them. I know who they are, and I know they still have feelings for me. 

Denial. The word everyone dreads. But everyone faces it. You may believe yourself on the outside, but truth is, you aren't confident in your word. You know they didn't change. You know they don't miss you. But everything seems to remind you of them, so is it vice versa? You just aren't ready to let go, and don't think you ever will be ready. 

Now, you go out of your way, looking for excuses to be near that person. Just to be with them again.  You may succeed. You may fail. Fate chooses that one. 

Now, on the other hand, you may of yet to fall in love. Please, don't let this change your mind, don't think of love as all bad and decide to become a lonely old cat person. Love is magical. It makes you feel invincable. Like no one could ever touch you, but sometimes you forget that your lover can. Though, don't forget your friends. As great as you may feel, friends come first. Always. Love makes you vunerable. Thats why friends are here. 

Everyday, we see people fall in and out of love. On the streets, in our homes, in school aswell. People break up and that leaves the question to ask "Well, why did they break up, they were so perfect together! " Well, love is like a great big beautiful grandfather clock. The outside, has intricut detail, the perfect wood carving, the lovely sculpted numbers placed at the perfect measurements. So in short words, the outside, is nearly perfect. But, if you were to break that clock in half, you'd see all the mechanics. All the insides, behind the scenes, working so hard, just to keep that pefect image up. But, like love, the clock may break. It may just not work, maybe one piece crosses by another piece, screwing it up, or simply, the battery dies, and theres no more spark to remind you that an hour has passed by. 

So, like many people, I have been in love. Head over heels, ready to kill to keep the love strong. I was in love with a man, so perfect, he had the best personality, the most handsome face, a gorgeous smile, and everything seemed so perfect.

My name is Nicole McGannison, and this is my story.