This was actually a script that I wrote last year. I've been debating whether or not I should post it since it's pretty stupid and there's really no describing stuff (It's a script!) but I figured what the heck?
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Richie makes another triple bogey and throws golf club
Richie: I HATE GOLF!!!
Jax: Then why do you come here everyday?
Richie: Shut up Jax! If I wanted to be questioned I’d return to school.
Jax: You should. It might make you smart.
Richie: I…You…Well…GAHHH!!!
Jax: Calm down you old fart. I was just kidding.
Richie: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN OLD FART!!!
Jax: Chilax Richie.
Richie: Sigh I wish there was a way for me to make a hole in one.
Jax: Is there? (Stares dramatically into distance.)
Dramatic Music
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Narrator: One week later
Jax: Come on. Come on. Come on.
Computer: (Ringy and annoying voice) Error. Error. Error.
Jax smashes computer
Computer: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Jasmine enters
Jasmine: What are you doing Jax?
Jax: Currently, I’m killing my computer
Jasmine: Why?
Jax: It said error Jasmine.
Computer: Error
Jasmine: Why would it say error?
Jax: I was trying to find a template for a hole-in-one machine. It said “Hit the ball good”
Jasmine: Why can’t you do anything useful with your life?
Jax smiles evilly and shoos Jasmine away.
Starts working
Elevator music.
Jax: Eureka!
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Unveils machine to Richie
Richie: Wow, you did something for once.
Jax: Yeah, yeah (demonstrates machine)
Richie: WOW!!!
Nikky Owner walks in from playing golf
Nikky Owner: Would you be willing to sell me that machine?
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Lion Forest: Hi, I’m Lion Forest. Tiger Woods got caught up in the media so I get to be your spokesperson instead. I’m here to tell you about this amazing new machine call…
Jax interrupts
Jax: Thanks Lion, now go away so I can tell the world about my hole-in-one machine.
Lion: Hey! That’s my job!
Jax: Don’t worry you’re still getting paid.
Corny People: (synchronized) Wow! It really works! (Thumbs up)
Jax: And it can be yours now for 3 easy payments of $99.99. Shipping and handling not included.
All: Why golf when something can do it for you?
YOU ARE READING
The Not-So-Simple Machine
HumorJax is a wannabe inventor. At one of his many side jobs as a caddy, his boss gives him a great idea. A HOLE-IN-ONE MACHINE!!!!
