Depression

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It's one more week until the end of the month. And I hate to admit it but I kinda wish it would never end. And my crush on Phantom has only grown as each day passes by one at a time.  I still haven't had the guts to tell him how I feel and the more I try to hide my feelings and emotions the more I suffer. My heart aches at the thought of never telling Phantom how I feel. What if I never have the guts to tell him? And if we fuze back together at the end of the month I may never be able to if I ever did tell him that is... And to be honest... I'm afraid of telling him how I feel. And I can't help but think... What if he rejects? What if he doesn't even feel the same way? What would he think of me then? Would he hate me? What if he ran off and never came back... Because of me?!! Every time Phantom's not around and he's out fighting ghosts which is almost never by the way. Since most of them are busy... doing stuff. But when I am alone I sometimes sit in the corner of my room thinking to myself and sometimes even balling my eyes out. What if the only reason he's doing this is to suthe his own sexual needs?! Will he ever find out how I feel? I wish I could just tell him how I feel and get it over with!! But at the same time I think...  why do I even bother?! Why does this kind of stuff always have to happen to me? *signs* I actually go to Jazz when i'm feeling down or depressed about something. Well guess what... I did just that the other day...... I went to her room and when she asked me what was wrong I broke down right in front of her. I blurted out everything. Jazz was surprised at first but she supported how I felt. She comforted me telling everything would be OK. Hugging me close... I begged her not to tell Phantom and she told me not to worry and that my secret was safe with her. Who could ask for a better sister?!

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