The Coolest Guy (ON GOING)

Chapter Thirty Eight :)

"Nope. Can we stay here for five more minutes? I like it here." he said. Tiningnan ko na lamang sya at nginitian. Pumayag na lamang ako sa gusto nya kasi alam kong may kasalanan ako. Maaaring pampabawas ito ng guilt na nararamdaman ko pero baka kailangan ko din ang limang minuto na iyon. Baka sakaling sa loob ng limang minuto na iyon ay magawa kong aminin sa kanya na mahal ko sya pero mahal ko din ang kapatid nya.

Sumandal lamang kami sa pader habang magkahawak ang kamay. Ganun lang nag naging set up namin. Ni hindi kami nag uusap. Nanatili lamang akong nakatitig sa regalo ko kay Adam at sya naman, nakatitig kung saan. Out of nowhere, four minutes after, I was able to say a word. Bigla kasi akong may naalala na isang story na medyo angkop sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon.

"Ice?" I called.

"Hmmm?"

"If...one day, you wake up...and you found out that...you no longer care for me, or love me, please say so during our morning coffee/ chocolate time. Hindi kita tatanungin kung bakit. But instead hahayaan kitang umalis. Naiintindihan ko na may mga taong kailangan umalis at dumating ka na sa puntong kinailangan mo ng umalis. Maiintinihan kita. Magiging masakit pero miintindihan kita. So please, promise me you'll tell it me okay?"

Tinitigan lamang ako ni Ice habang sinasabi ko iyon. After some few seconds ngumiti sya. He pressed my hand and said, "Promise."

I wasnt expecting that answer from him. Akala ko sasabihin nya na hindi mangyayaro iyon kaya hindi ko na dapat sabihin. But he said promise. Maybe, I really dont know him enough.

"Can you promise me something too, Cream?" Mas lalo pa nyang hinigpitan ang hawak sa nga kamay ko habang tinititigan at nilalaro nya ang mga iyon. "Promise me that you'll stay, no matter what happens. Promise me that you will believe in me. Can you promise me that?" Gusto kong magsalita at sagutin ang tanong nya. Pero alam ko na sa oras na ibuka ko ang bibig ko, iiyak lamang ako. Hindi ko magawang mangako na mananatili ako. Gustuhin ko man, unfair sa kanya. Tumungo na lang ako habang kagat ang labi ko sa tangkang pagpigil ng aking luha. I'm sorry Ice.

He leaned in and kissed me on my forehead. "Five minutes is up. Nasolo na kita. Tara na." tumayo sya and he offered his hand for assistance. Tinanggap ko naman iyon at sabay kaming nagtungo sa hapag kainan.

It was surpriaingly peaceful for me. We ate together and all I can see is smilling faces around me. Christmas smiles, as what I call them.

Minsan akong napatingin kay Adam at naabutan ko syang nakatingin sakin. He smiled and I smiled back. If I take the risk, will it be worth it?

Tapos napatingin din ako kay Ice na kausap si Rain tungkol dun sa isang show na gagawin ata ni Rain. Kaya ko ba talagang bitawan si Ice?

Hindi ata.

Two days later, I found myself staring at the ceiling of my room. It's already 1am and I'm still wide awake. Kanina namin tinapos ang last scenes ng short film namin ni Adam. It was surprisingly light. Adam and I talk like before but with limitations (as what I have noticed) and the whole crew just feels alive. Everyone was laughing and we all ate together too. What also surprises me is our early pack up. Siguro dahil na din sa magaan na aura ng paligid, we managed to do scenes with one take most of the time. Which is good. Hindi ako napagod masyado at super gaan ng pakiramdam.

Every break time ko, tinetext ko naman si Ice na nagpunta na ng San Nicholas. Niyaya nya ako but I said no because I already said yes to Noah and Nikka for our Pagudpod and Vigan Trip. Madaling araw bukas ang alis ko. I mean, three hours na lang pala. Gosh, makatulog kaya ako neto?

Everytime na pinipikit ko mga mata ko, I see Ice smilling at me. Amd Adam, staring at me. Just...staring at me. Sa sitwasyong ito ako naguguluhan. It normal circumstances, Adam will be the one smilling and Ice will be the one staring at me with poker face. What happened?