Signs - a Jerza fanfic

CHAPTER VI

I left after the battle with Natsu. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do? I was through with trying to repair things.

With my throat tight and tears in my eyes, I fled. I didn't want to go back. I suddenly felt like Jellal. So this is what it's like. Deciding to distance yourself so you don't hurt others by bringing back painful memories.

It takes a lot of strength to do that. It made me feel somewhat better.

First, I ransacked my own room, taking what I thought would be useful or necessary. Then I wrote a note to leave at the door of the guild, but threw it in a trash can on the way there. It was a stupid idea. At least I had what I wanted to say out of my system. Lastly, I put on a black strip of cloth to cover my guildmark. I didn't want to see it. It was meaningless now.

I left just before dinnertime.

So, I rode on and on in my carriage. I didn't stop for food or water. I kept going to get as far away as I could, running from my memories.

Which was hard, considering my black cloth had fallen off my arm, revealing my guildmark again.

I stopped around midnight because the carriage was controlled by absorbing magical energy from the driver. I had used too much, just like I always did. My stomach felt like I was going to puke and my throat was tight like I could cry.

I was parked on a hill with a giant tree nearby. There was nobody around for miles. I screamed as loud as I could, letting it all out. Slumped under the tree on that hill, I let exhaustion and self pity waft over myself. I hoped I was doing the right thing.

This time, it felt good to cry. Not painful, or embarrassing, just relaxing. I sobbed and wailed as long and as loud as I wanted. It felt good.

When I was exhausted of that, the thing I now wanted most was sleep. In the grass with a blanket and a pillow, it felt like I was the only person in the world. I could've died there, and I wouldn't have minded.

"Erza."

It sounded like the wind at first.

"Erza!"

This time it was whisper as loud as one could make.

Opening my eyes, I saw his shaggy
blue hair. Jellal.

"If I ignore him, he'll leave eventually,"
I thought.

But my body acted on its own and I sat up.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" My voice sounded broken, worn, and soft with fatigue.

"I followed the signs."

I watched him as he took a pack off his shoulders and began to unroll a sleeping bag. I realized he intended to stay with me as I asked, "What signs?"

"I found a letter that had the seal only you use on it. I read it and realized that it was dangerous to let you be alone. After stopping by your room, I found it looking like you left in a hurry. I knew I was on the right track when I saw a black piece of cloth."

"Who's to say the cloth was mine?"

"It was torn from the dress you wore at Makarov's funeral," Jellal said.

So he had been there at the funeral. He probably watched it from afar...

I had not realized what I had torn it from, only that I needed something to cover my guildmark.

I looked down at my legs under my blanket. I was shivering. I didn't know if it was really because it was cold, or because I no longer knew who I was anymore, and that that scared me.

Erza. The girl known as Titainia, hard as steel, the amazing warrior, who was also smart.

Apparently not smart enough to cover her own tracks...