Signs - a Jerza fanfic

CHAPTER I

I stretched and woke up feeling refreshed. I had purposefully went to bed early for this mission. I glanced at my blue guild mark in the distant mirror in the bathroom and a crushed feeling wafted over me.

Two months ago, the master of fairy tail, Makarov, died because of me. it was all my fault. I was not strong enough.

I put a hand up to my face and tried to forget the painful flashbacks. They still invade my mind no matter how hard I try, so I get on with my daily life just like I always do.

I almost have to cheer myself on to keep going.

Take a shower, Erza.
Brush your red hair, Erza.
Brush your teeth, Erza.
Pick out some armor for your mission, Erza.

With one last gloomy look in the mirror I head off towards my mission site.

In the back of my mind, it's all still there. Nagging at me incessantly. Non-stop. All day, especially as I head to my mission site it reminds me what happened months ago. The memories....they never stop.

As I'm fighting my mission target, my mind keeps faltering and I have quite a few gashes on my body. I'm being foolish, and me being unfocussed is getting the better of me.

Today I cannot focus at all.

I eventually complete the mission, but I am forced to go to the hospital. Spots of blood were left on my carriage and passerby that I can see from the hospital window keep staring at it.

Being in that room waiting on the doctor to come in gave me time to think. I especially remember the funeral.

The white gauzy bandages remind me of my eye after heavens tower as a child. Makarov helped me get my eye fixed. I wince at the thought, and immediately wish I could re-equip into some armor. I feel safer and more comfortable that way.

Deeper and deeper my thoughts go until I am in a dark mood out of depression.

It's all my fault.
The Master is gone.

I am the worst.

I was surprised to see Jellal of all people walk in, even if I didn't seem like it. How did he know?

"Erza..." he said softly. He knew what had happened, even if he wasn't at the funeral.

"Don't say anything. You'll only make it worse."

Just then the doctor came in, thankfully. he gave an odd glance at Jellal and then told me I could go.

I re-equipped as soon as he said so and started to walk out. Jellal followed.

"Don't follow me." I told him.

"It's not good for someone to be alone all the time." Jellal replied as I climbed -painfully- into the carriage. "especially after......" He stopped there when I glared depressingly at him.