Losing Myself

Only Fools Fall

I never notice how much I really hate high school until I walk though the halls. Bitches and their little cliques standing around in the middle of the hallway blocking my path, fuckboys shoving everyone around because they think the halls are MMA rings that they can throw each other around in and just be in your fucking way, and you know the current of assholes trying to get to class like everyone else in the hall but they decide to shove everyone down in the process. The only way I think I survive the hell of these halls everyday is by drowning myself in my music and today like any other that's what I did. And it was going pretty damn good. That was until I made eye contact with "it". Walking down the opposite side of the hall with his group fuckboy drug junkies. Who is "it" you ask? Oh, just the schools local drug dealing asshole. Luke Marcus. Now you're like what's so bad about Luke Marcus? Ok let me explain. Me and Luke have a past, ok? I don't just hate him for no reason I'm not just an ass to him for kicks. It all began in 8th grade, I just moved to LA from Compton so I was  slightly out of my element being little black girl from the inner city streets moving to you know whitey white-ville was confusing. Even though I never ran the streets and all that, I wasn't really used to living around y'know.... white people. Anywhoosies, my first day in suburban middle school I knew it was gonna stick out no matter how much I tried. I had a short little bob cut and oversized clothes because I was really tall and hella skinny. When I got on the bus that first day everyone was staring at me like they knew I didn't belong and every seat looked taken. No one looked like they wanted to sit next to me but then I spotted an empty seat next to this kid in the very front behind the super tall wall seat and it was a good thing too because the bus driver looked like she was  five seconds from pulling off while I was still standing. So I sat down, and searched for my headphones to block out my awkward bus encounter, then I realized I left them on the counter because I was rushing for the bus...well shit. So in a loud huff I decided fuck it I'm just gonna sit In silence. I guess the kid next to me just couldn't let me win today because he started up a conversation "...Hey" I jumped a little because I wasn't really prepared for anyone to try to talk to me "..Uhh...hi" I finally looked over at my seat partner and he...was actually kinda cute he was a little tan and he had scruffy brown hair that looked like he may have tried in the morning but like not really, big brown eyes and his face was kinda thin like he should be really hot when he glowed up but like I could've just be making assumptions. He stared back at me for a while then he finally started again,
"Umm...you ok?"
"Oh, yeah I'm just having a rough morning...Y'know. I kinda just moved here and then my headphones decided to not be in my backpack, but...yeah I'm good. "
The boys eyes widened a bit " You just moved here? Same dude, I just got  here from Michigan over the summer and it's been a little rough so I know where you coming from. Where'd you move from?"
I became a little hesitant because I knew if I said where I moved from he'd judge me but I was still 85% in fuck it mode so I just said " Compton.."
He looked at with a reassuring smile as if he felt the uneasiness I had from my answer,
"It's cool man, I moved here from Flint and it's kinda rough there too...so I kinda now how you feel being all out of your element in white suburbia."
When he said that, for the first time since I moved, I didn't really feel so alone.
" Oh yeah." He piped up again "My, name is Luke"
"Oh...I'm Kells." He raised an eyebrow at me, "Yeah, it's not really a name you expect from a black girl from Compton, huh..?"
He laughed a bit "No, not really but it's nice I like it. Nice to meet you...Kells" and he held out his fist and I assumed I was supposed to pound it so that's what I did. And with that one beautiful fist pound a beautiful friendship blossomed and lasted a life time. SIKE! Luke and I ended up getting close and we really opened up to each other and started hanging out and as the days went on we found more people to hang out with and we kinda created our own little group Lena, Monica, Alverado, Luke and I. We were a nice little tight knit group. Then one day we found out Monica and Luke had a little problem they liked to smoke. And I was all good with that Monica stayed true to our friend group but, Luke he started to get a little high up in the middle school social ladder which was Gucci. Until I found out Luke was telling people things that I had told him when we first met like things about my family, my past and everyone was making fun of me for it. And it got really bad man. Like breaking bad and Lena and Monica were the only ones who stood up for me. I still got bullied on the bus and in the halls. Over time it died down but I was still left with the residual anger and mistrust from him ruining my first year.  So now, fast forward to freshman year and the tables uslightly turned I fucked with him instead and even gave him a little nickname "Leek" like the little animal ^-^. And a year later now we're here. In this hallway. Eyes still locked on each other. As he approached me he drifted over and basically body checked me, I stumbled a bit and wouldn't have fallen if it wasn't for the persons foot right behind me "Nice one, fuck up."  he spat as he continued down the hall. What the actual fuck.?! He's never pulled any shit like that before.... I wanted to turn around and beat the shit out of him, but I was too shocked and still on the floor in the middle of the fucking hall. People still dashing past me totally disregarding me blocking there path. I quickly got up trying to re gain my balance, readjusting my headphones I started down the halls again. If that asshole thinks this was the end he's was sadly mistaken.