Going To Be

Chapter Fifteen - Without You

I stared at my phone and waited for a call, but it never came. I wanted to scream, but I just couldn't. Sometime later Daniel returned. He walked over to the couch where I was sitting and sat down.

"Jackson called me." He murmured. "I came back as soon as I could."

"He left... again." I whispered, still feeling dumbfounded.

"He thinks he's hurting you by being around. I tried to tell him that he's wrong but he mentioned that you had a breakdown in class."

I sighed and let my head fall forward. I knew he had been affected by it. He had become withdrawn after that. He had left because he thought I was broken because of him. A lone tear rolled down my cheek.

"I did, but it was more about myself than it was about him. I hadn't danced since his memorial and I didn't realize how much I use dance as an outlet. After I danced at the memorial I felt stronger, but after I danced with Greg..." My voice tapered off. Dancing with Greg had left me feeling weak and broken. The dance was highly emotional, a story of being torn between love and a new start. It had burrowed down into the core of my heart and set alight all of my fears and insecurities.

"I lost it, because I can't bear to lose him." I finished, I looked up at Daniel who was frowning. he shook his head and stood up.

"He loves you Amber."

"I know."

Daniel walked into the kitchen and began to make coffee. I let my head fall back on the couch. We had found Jackson, but he was still gone and I still had no idea where he was. I looked at my phone again but there was nothing. I had been afraid to lose him but that was a exactly what had happened anyway.

I didn't move from the spot on the couch for at least an hour. A phone call to the apartment forced me up.

"Hello?" I whispered into the handset.

"It's Greg. I wanted to check on you after what happened." I frowned, I hadn't given him the apartment phone number. I shrugged, gathering he must have found it through the contact system the college ran.

"I'm okay. I just spaced out a bit." I lied. I was anything but okay but Greg didn't need to know that.

"You danced like you'd never stopped." He added. "That'll never fail to amaze me. You were born to dance."

"Thanks." I mumbled. truth be told, dancing was the last thing on my mind. Thoughts of Jackson and how we were going to get through this consumed me like some kind of emotional plague. We had found him, but it wasn't enough.

"About the showcase, Victoria gave me your costume. I could drop it off if you like."

Shit, the showcase. I had said I would still do it. but that had been before Jackson had done a runner. Now I wasn't sure I had the want or the energy to give my all to any kind of performance. I couldn't let Greg down though, not when I had said I would.

"Uh yeah sure, I'm home now. Why don't you drop by?"

"Okay, I'm just leaving campus, I'll be there in about an hour."

"See you soon Greg."

I hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen. A picture of Jackson was on the fridge. I let my fingers brush across it and let out a sigh. This wasn't the first time he had just shut me out, although the last time I had kept something from him, it seemed this time he was keeping something from me.

"Hey, you okay?" Daniels voice woke me from my thoughts I turned and plastered a fake smile on my face. I went to lie, and say I was fine but the words just wouldn't roll out. Daniel gave me a soft smile and walked toward me. He pulled me into a hug.