Little Saint Bride [Death and the Maiden, #1]

Chapter Thirty Eight: Nathaniel [Full]

'I want to see you,' I say. My voice cracks. I'm so, so tired— and yet, I'm desperate to see my brother once more. Even if it's as a ghost, I want to see him.

What had Sybella told me? I have to expand my inner core energy. Clamping my eyes shut, I acknowledge everything I usually miss; the sound of the still air, the touching sensation of my feet on the ground, how the Hadrian's stolen clothes feel against my body. And I notice that tingling in my stomach once more, and the bubble that I keep so tightly wrapped around myself to ward away harm. I open it, letting my energy disperse, feeling vulnerable but aware.

And then, I realise, Nate has been next to me the whole time.

It's like I've turned at the right angle, enough that is image comes into view. His form is solid, not ghostly— as if I could reach out and hug him.

Nate grins back at me.

He's exactly as I remember— literally. He hasn't aged a day; he's now my little brother, and I'm a head taller than him. There's still a boyish roundness to his face, a youth that I probably lost the days following his death. Nate's hair has the dark coppery curls that mine does, but short and cropped to match his jawline.

'Welcome back, little brother,' I whisper, vision blurring.

'I never left, sis,' comes his reply.

I begin to cry.

Perhaps, at the beginning, my tears are dainty. But soon enough, I'm drawing wracking breaths that even my mother is giving me a frightened look. Snot stuffs my nose and my cheeks redden as I wail because after all these years, I'm finally grieving that my brother is, irreversibly, dead.

I spent so long hating the world that I forgot to love his memory.

Nate's touch flows through me, but it's comfort enough. I collapse to the floor, onto my knees, and as a light misting rain begins to fall I can't help but feel lost and afraid.

'Five years,' I hiccough, 'I missed you, Nate. I never said goodbye.'

Nate smiles sadly. 'Nessie, you wouldn't have said goodbye, even if I could have warned you. You would have fought. You would have died in my place.'

'And I bloody well should have!' I growl, rubbing away furious tears. 'You could have changed the world! Look what I've done!'

I gesture at the mask, still tied atop my head, and my dark, gothic clothes that are stolen from my husband. Then, seeing Nate's bemused face, I think he mustn't know.

'There are my husband's...well, fiancé's...no, actually, he's not my anything, but...I took these from him after I'd tied him up...' I'm mumbling at the grass.

'You...tied him up?' Until that point, there had been no scientific proof that a ghost could blush. But, now I see it. Nate's cheeks, reddened at the thought of his sister tying up a man. '...and stole his clothes?' Nate frowns, thinking slowly. 'Where were your clothes?'

'It's...' I take a breath, noticing that the misting rain is catching onto my cheeks and hair, hiding my tears and washing them away. Had I not, just a few moments ago, felt as though my world was fogged?

And yet, when remembering of my adventures with Hadrian and Mercer and Cerberus and damn, even Chronus— I can't help but smile. In fact— I can't wait to go home.

Home.

How can it be a home, when I've been there such a short while? But there's no doubt in my heart. After all this running, there's a place I'm meant to be.

'Nessie?'

I blink. Nate had been talking to me, and I'd entirely zoned out. I grin at him, surprising him with my change in demeanour.

'Actually, I have quite a long story to tell you,' I admit, 'and it starts with me getting married.'

Nate sighs. 'I heard. The King of the Underworld, huh? I should have known you'd get into trouble...but I could never imagine you'd get into man trouble.'

'Gee, thanks, bro. How did you know?' I cock my head, annoyed that my gossip had already been told.

'Our dad,' Nate mutters. 'He comes to my grave, every day, and tells me how you're getting on.'

My mouth opens in surprise. I can't imagine my drunken, gambling father doing anything than drunken gambling. But being spiritual?

Nate sees my expression and nods, laughing. 'He's been keeping me updated with no idea that I'm actually listening. He thinks you were suicidal for volunteering to be Bride.'

'Actually, I did it for you,' I interject. 'I saw Hadrian come to collect your soul, I knew he existed. I believed my answers to your death lay below. Little did I know you where exactly where I left you.'

'You played into Spring's hands,' our adoptive mother snaps from a few metres away.

Taken aback by the sudden interruption, we both spin around.

'What was that?' I mutter. Nate shoots me a look that says he couldn't stop me hurting her, and half of him wouldn't stop me even if he could.

'You heard me,' she says, 'I did what they wanted, and so did you.'

I glare at her with cold derision. 'How could they have known I'd volunteer to sacrifice myself? It was a long shot, I'll admit. Not one of my saner plans.'

She gives me a leering smile. 'Maybe they knew you weren't quite sane.'

I turn away from her.

This time, she would not ruin our moment.

'Nate...I would like to accompany you to the Underworld. I have power now, power to be able to save you. This time, I want your soul to be free.'

My brother looks back at me. There's a thousand emotions there, but I think pride has to be the largest one.

But then he swallows hard, looking nervous. 'Nessie, what if they judge me? I...my body was used to do terrible things...I couldn't stop it. I believe in heaven and hell, Nerissa, but I don't want to go to hell. At least here, I can see the sun and the stars.'

I take his hand, although we can't touch, and give him a reassuring, cocky smile. 'Don't worry. I know from experience that you will do well. If I can pass, well, you'll pass with flying colours.'

As long as Hadrian doesn't try to have sex with you. That was my downfall. I try to keep a straight face at that thought.

He nods, some of the fear ebbing away. 'I'm still scared,' he admits.

'I'll be there with you,' I say, 'I'll go with you to the edges of this life and beyond.'

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Thanks for all your votes guys, here is the finished chapter 38! What do you think? 

Nerissa's journey isn't finished...but Book One is nearly over. Currently trying to think of a title for #2....any ideas? ;')

lots of Love

Larissa