Find Your Way

Chapter Four

"What should I do, Sally? I can't hurt David again, hell as I don't want to be tied to him!" Frustration, helplessness and alcohol in my system aren't helping my situation.

"Sshh, Jade tama na. Tumahan ka na. I have an idea." I instantly pushed myself away from her after hearing what she just said. Seriousness written all over her face but I can also sense hesitation mirroring in her eyes.

"C'mon, Sally. Spill it." I said sounding impatient. I didn't mean to sound like that pero kasi frustrated na ko sa sitwasyon ko kaya hindi ko na din napigil. Buti na lang hindi nagalit si Sally.

"W-Why don't you try again?"

"What do you mean?" Honestly, hindi ko siya gets sa sinabi niya then I heard her sigh.

"I mean, sa'yo na nanggaling na mabuting tao si David. Bakit hindi mo subukan na mahalin siya ulit? Pabayaan mo na lang muna sila Tito-" I didn't let her finish her sentence because I can't believe the words coming from her mouth.

"Are you insanse, Sally?! You know I'm not inlove with David anymore! Akala ko pa naman ikaw ang makakaintindi sakin! What are you guys trying to do to me, huh?! Bakit all of a sudden parang wala na akong kakampi!" I slightly pushed her off me to get some distance. I suddenly felt suffocated with her presence.

"What?! Jade, no! Listen to me first, okay?" She said calmly while she grabbed my right arm. "Meron ka pa namang three months para malaman kung ano talagang stand ni David sa'yo. What I'm trying to say is, i-try mo ulit na makipagrelasyon kay David. At kapag na realize mong wala na talaga, cut him off. Sabihin mo sa kanya yung totoo." Sally said calmly trying to pacify me. I'm still trying to comprehend what she just said when she talked once again.

"Jade, look. Alam ko magulo ngayon ang situation mo pero wala ka naman magagawa eh. I'm not saying na hayaan mo na lang sila Tito na control-in ang buhay mo pero ang sakin lang ay, why don't you give yourself a chance? Hayaan mong buksan muli yung puso mo kay David at tignan mo kung may mababago ba pa sa mararamdaman mo. And if time comes na sigurado ka ng hindi mo na nga siya mahal, let him go. Naniniwala naman akong maiintindihan ka niya."

Sally has a point pero hindi ko pa din sigurado kung susundin ko ba 'tong payo niya. Kaya ko bang mahalin siya ulit? Hindi ba parang lolokohin ko din lang ang sarili ko sa gagawin ko pero what choice do I have? Ayoko din naman masaktan si David. Kababalik ko lang tapos sasaktan ko na naman siya.

"I still don't know, Sally. Oo aaminin ko mabuting tao si David at kasalanan ko kung bakit kami humantong sa ganito. Pero do you think hindi aasa si David sakin kapag hinayaan ko ulit ang sarili kong bumalik sa kanya?" I know I'm stupid to even consider her opinion pero nandito na eh. Isa pa, hindi din naman ako makakatakas. Wala akong maisip na ibang solusyon para makaiwas. Isa pa, Sally is right. Susubukan ko lang naman ulit. Meron pa naman akong three months para masiguro na hindi ko na siya mahal.

"Basta sasabihin mo sa kanya yung totoo. Sabihin mo na yung plano nila Tito sa kanya para magtulungan kayo. Kumbaga, parang magiging accomplice mo si David dito pero you're also helping yourself para mas malinawan kung ano talaga ang gusto mo. He will understand, I swear." She explained then gave me an assuring smile.

"You think so?" I looked at her skeptically and she just nod. I'm still not sure about this but I'm willing to try. Hindi ko naman lolokohin si David. Bibigyan ko lang ng chance ang sarili ko na mahalin siya ulit. Isa pa, this is the best I can for now. Saka ko na lang iisipin kung paano makakatakas pag narealize kong wala na talaga.