Growing up as Transgender in Upstate New York (MtF)

Again

A couple of years have pat since I was giving the letter and stopped telling everyone I was a girl. So far, my life has been ok I haven't been all that happy and outgoing anymore since that day. Here I am 13 years old and living back with my mom and her new husband (don). I'm getting ready to start my year at middle school for the first time. my mother and I where out shopping for school clothes to start the new year. As we walk around Walmart I see a nice and beautiful purple dress as I walk over to it "Where do you think you're going young man" I hear behind me. I turn around and there are my mother arms crossed with the look Oh you better not be going back to how u where when u lived with your grandma look. I knew not to push it with her. " I um bathroom" I said and ran off to the back of the store. "wow that was close " I say to myself. I stand in the bath room for a bit before I think "ya it's been long enough better going before she comes in after me". I head out the bath room door and sure enough there she is. "take long enough" Yes mom I say as we walk back to the guys cloths

After we finish shopping we load up in the car and head to grab some lunch before going back home. As we pull in the drive way and she parks. I quickly jump out of the car with bags in hand and run to my bed room (well mine and my brother room). As I am in there putting the clothes and shoes away I had my door open and I could hear my mom and step dad talking in the living room. "he did it again " she told him. "What I thought he was done with that stage" I hear my step dad say. "I guess not, and I don't know what to do about it. my mom really messed him up" is what I hear my mom say. At this point I am sitting on the floor by my door where they cannot see me, and I was hurt cuz it's like they don't get me. I'm just glad it's the weekend I think to myself. I get to see my grandma this weekend. Then I got a smile on my face. Then something hit me in the head I look up and there is my brother big smirk on his face as he just keeps dropping cars and trucks on my head. "stop it" I yelled " or what your bf well come after me" says my little brother. That pissed me off. Though get me thinking a bf hmmm. but I got brought back to rl by my brother throwing the last car he had in his hand at me head. "owwwwwww" I yelled and at that point he ran. " mommy stop her she's going to hurt me or send her bf after me" as I got up to run after him my step dad stepped in front of me. "in your room now" he said as he followed me in and closed the door. Grabbing my shirt with his one hand and back handing me with his other. " you are not a girl and you well never have a bf you well be normal and have a gf get married and moved out" he kept saying as het kept hitting me. he did even give me a chance to say anything just kept hitting me and when he stopped he let me go and said, " go wash up dinner well be ready soon" and with that he walked out the door. I just sat their crying l and thinking to myself "what just happened". after about 5 min I got up walked into the bath room and washed up.

After dinner I asked my mom if I could go to grandmas this weekend seeing it's the last one before school. I could tell she didn't like me asking that but said fine anyways. Before she could tell me to be back Sunday I was out the door and on my 21-speed headed down the road. As I got to my grandma's house I parked my bike in the shed and walked in the back door and went to my room cuz I knew she wasn't home from work yet. At about 6p.m. my grandma walks in the door and I smelled pizza from my favorite spot "Eric you hungry" I hear her yell down the hall "how does she know I am here" I ask myself I mean I am quite in my room and it's on the back side of the house so can't see it from the road. 'Yes, I'll be right out" I yell beck. 2 min later I'm walking out to the kitchen and I see her sitting at the table eating. "what happened to your face" she asks when she sees me. Before I can say anything she gets up and gets on the phone "I need you to come right over plz " pause " yes she's here and her face is really bad" pause "ok thank you very much I'll see you in 10 min" with that she hangs up and goes to the freezer and grabs a bag of green beans and puts it on my face. 10 min of silence goes by and the door opens. I turn around and there stands my aunt Joan (the cool aunt) she comes right over and takes the back of green beans off. "oh, my dear did he do this to you" I nod. she put the bag back on my face and sits next to me. "Tell me everything that happened" she say so I did. When I get done she stands up and takes my grandmother to the other room. "She can't keep going back there even if it's for school. this time it is worse than last time." I hear my aunt say " I know but my hands are tied her mom got full custody back and well not give up without a fight" is all I hear from my grandma. After about 10min of quite they come back in and sit down and grabbed a slice of pizza. "I'm sorry dear I know you stopped saying you were a girl for a while and then came back to us as a happy growing girl agene about a year ago, but I'm fared you have to do everything you can to stop while u live there. if not, it can get a lot worse for you." my aunt tells me, and I just hold back the tears and say, "I understand". "You can still do it here if you want the" "thanks grandma but no if I can't at home I better not here either" Yes, I know it hurt to have to hide my myself while I lived with my mom but there is nothing I can do.