"Miguel. Go back. I'm not feeling to well..." Abby turns to look at me, knowing everything about my past. She glances to my phone, then back to my pale face and teary eyes.

"Oh Ryvr... Miguel bring her home." He looks in the rearview mirror and nods slightly.

"You going to be okay Ryvr?" I give him a quick nod.

"Y-yeah. Just a 24 hour bug or something. I'll be f-fine." I plaster on a fake smile for him as he turns around. When they both look away, I scold myself for showing my biggest weakness to someone I barely know.

The moment Miguel pulled up next to the house, I was out of the car before he even had a chance to come to a full stop. "T-thanks. I'll see you soon. Good luck Abby." She sends a soft but caring smile my way.

"Be safe Ryvr." I nod, my lips set in a line, not wanting to show any more emotion than I already have. I walk up to the front door, unlocking it swiftly. The moment I'm in the house with the door shut, I lean against the wall for support, my legs unable to keep me up any longer.

Flashbacks rush into my vision, my past memories crawling over the barrier I had set up, the brick walls crumbling as the force is too much, making me slide to the floor.

I was 15, still in high school. "Kyrsten! Guess who asked me out last night?" My friend Morgan squealed in my ear. Two weeks ago I had asked her to keep an eye on my friend Austin, a guy I was in love with for 2 years, but wouldn't talk to me about his issues since his parents forbid him from talking to me. Little did I know that they would get together. "It was Austin!" Little did SHE know that earlier that morning, we had met up in the bathroom and had sex. That's all he used me for, sex. He wouldn't talk to me unless he wanted it. It was the only thing I knew that would stop him from cutting himself. Knowing that I had willingly helped him cheat on my best friend, I was devastated. However, I acted happy for her.

"That's great! I'm so happy for you!" I forced out, along with a smile. She didn't know how I loved him, she just thought I was worried about him since he was my friend. She was so excited that she was dating a senior when she was a sophomore. I couldn't destroy her, not now.

When my science class came up, I texted Austin, telling him I wanted to talk to him.  It wasn't long before I got a response telling me to meet him in the hall outside of the girl's bathroom. Asking the teacher if I could be excused, I met him.

"Austin, why didn't tell me you were dating my best friend? You cheated on her! WITH ME! What the fuck!" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Who cares? We can keep having sex until she's ready to give it to me. Just don't tell her. Don't fuck this up for me like you did with Catie."

"I didn't fuck that up! You did! I kept trying to keep you two together so you would be happy!"

He scoffs, uncaring. "What do you care if I'm happy or not?"

"God dammit Austin! I love you! That's why! I gave you EVERYTHING!"

"So? I already knew you loved me. But I can't love a fat fuck like you. You're just a good fuck."

I scream as his words tear new wounds into my heart, my tears running freely. I run upstairs to my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. "..Can't love a fat fuck like you." My hand moves to my stomach, still feeling a slight bulge there after two years of doing everything I could to loose weight after he moved away.

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Moving towards the toilet, I stick my finger to the back of my throat, forcing myself to puke whatever I had in my stomach from the night before.

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