Every day you kill me a little more. You know that awful feeling you get deep in your chest when someone you love gets hurt and you might never see them again? Like someone's swept out your heart and left an empty space and it feels like your getting punched repeatedly and you feel painfully winded and you're struggling to breathe but you can't no matter how much you try. That's how I feel when I think of you like its all come crashing down. I just want to die but I'm too afraid too. I'm holding on to this dying hope that you'll come back. That maybe you'll realize you were wrong. Please come back. I've literally fucking lost it my mind is in fucking ruins. I feel like I had reasons before you to I don't know... Exist but you tore through my heart and head and set fire to everything and when you left the flame died out and there was nothing but ruin left behind. The hardest part you act like your the victim and I was so fucking forgiving telling everyone I broke you I ruined you. I told them... I told them to make sure you were happy because I couldn't anymore because I broke you. When all along I was just being strung along for a bloody half a year. Sometimes I don't know if I want to kill me or kill you. No, I've made my choice. Don't trust anyone. Never trust anyone with your whole heart they'll take it and they'll break it.
Don't trust anybody ever no matter what you feel
A/N
That's my ex-fiancé and me up their last week when we finally hung out together. I was happy for a short while before I had a major anxiety attack due to warring emotions and had to go breakdown which he witnessed. I was ashamed, to say the least. I don't know anymore.
-Loveless_Jenova-
YOU ARE READING
The Ramblings of the Mentally Unstable
Non-FictionMy thoughts when I lay in bed at night.
