discussing different topics with darcy

confidence is key ("how i'm so pretty" suggested by payton.elizabethh on ig)

THE LONG, HEART FELT STORY TO HELP EXPLAIN

i have to tell a story to try to answer your question, "how are you so pretty?". to be honest, i have just now realized recently that i am not ugly at all. all my life i have been on and off about how i looked at myself and my self image; i would like my body for like about two hours, while me and my cousins were having a fashion show, next thing happened was, that i was crying in my cousin's closet because i couldn't fit into her clothing. i would hate myself for about a week, then it would repeat. in 2012 i was diagnosed with obesity, being told this broke my heart. after that, i just kind of went on my life, still not liking my body but trying to be happy. summer camp came; people would make fun of me because of my weight and they would avoid be because i was "disgusting". they were all older than me, so they thought they were better than me and they thought they could treat me like that (btw don't let people do this to you) but i just let it happen. i started not wanting to eat anymore, i started holding back on my favorite foods, i was not being healthy. over about the course of 4th-5th grade i stayed about the same weight, during the ending of 5th grade and the summer after 6th grade i lost weight; i was starting to think i was sort of attractive. but when 7th grade started is when all problems start happening. i was starting to lose weight because of my depression. my doctor got very worried and he asked if i have been self-harming any because he knew what was happening behind closed doors, the answer was yes and he got me help. i started some things to make me feel better and they worked, but i still wasn't okay with my body. i was eating less and less but i didn't realize it was hurting me because i was losing weight. i was obsessed with my weight, every time i got the chance, i got onto the scales. i talked to somebody about it and they said there was something wrong, they said i shouldn't be doing this to myself because i could end up in the hospital before it's too late. i stopped. i didn't just stop cold turkey though; my mother helped me a lot by making sure i ate, my family hid all the scales from me. they let me check every once and awhile but it wasn't constant. i started taking care of myself and eating healthy. i honestly wasn't okay with my body still but i wanted to take care of that carefully and correctly. so, i started eating reasonable portions and stayed positive. i eventually lost over 30lbs.

THE SHORTENED AND LESS HEART FELT ANSWER

the reason i think people believe i'm pretty is because i am more confident. nothing is more attractive than confidence and i mean that. now, just losing kall that weight didn't help me gain confidence; my cousins (kk and hannah), my mother has helped me, my aunt and uncle helped me, jake, my best friend helped me, garrett, (a friend of mine), has helped me. they would let me know that i am beautiful no matter how i look and just remember, you are too.