Chapter 3

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     Dipper paced the ship, too restless for sleep. A thousand thoughts zoomed through his head, and it was difficult to quiet the voices. He kept his head down as he quickly walked, avoiding contact with any of the other crew members that were still awake. Not that they would've been much for conversation, anyway. Word spread quickly and they all simply gave him condescending looks and snickers as he passed.
      Before he knew it, the sun arose from below the horizon. An aged woman with a lazy eye and too much makeup emerged from below deck and rang a cowbell, yelling, "Food! Come get some food!" At least I get free meals, Dipper thought to himself. Considering the canvas bag that reeked of rotten food, he was almost dreading having that 'perk', though he was hungry, not having eaten since the morning before. He made his way below deck, following the other pirates. Two decks down, they arrived at a large room with tables and chairs cramping every available square foot of floor. People were shoving each other to the ground in an attempt to get the good food before it was gone. Dipper already knew he was getting scraps, but he pushed his way up front to ensure he actually got something. It was an awful endeavor, with many elbows and bodies in his face and slamming against him. Finally, he made it up front, grabbed whatever he could, and made his way out of the crowd. The fruit of his efforts: a moldy chunk of cheese and bread. He sighed, made his way to a corner table, and sat down.
       "How's it goin', newbie?" said a female voice. Dipper looked up in shock. A red-headed woman, no more than three years older than him, had sat down at his table. She wore a warm smile, appearing very friendly and inviting. In addition, she wore a short wool coat that went only down just below her ribs, sleeves folded up to her elbows. Underneath was a simple, slightly ripped tartan shirt. Tied around her forehead was a brown headscarf.
       "Uh, alright, I guess?" he replied, not quite sure how to answer. Another man, twice Dipper's size, also sat down with them. "Heard you had a run-in with the captain," the new man said. He, too, had a softer look to him than the vast majority of the crew. "Oh, yeah," Dipper replied awkwardly. "Well, you're still here. That in itself is impressive," said the red-head. "Yeah, I don't think he was far from not letting me leave alive, to be honest. The guy seems a little intense," said Dipper. "Oh, that's cuz he's not just any old captain," said the other man, "That dude's Captain Bill Cipher, Demon of the North Seas."
       "Wait, what?! That guy? The Demon of the North Seas?! He seems so young!" the brunette exclaimed. Captain Cipher had a reputation to take ships down mercilessly in a matter of fifteen minutes, mainly in the Northern Pacific. There was no escape from his wrath, so the gossip goes. How could someone with such a history be almost the same age as me?! And how did I get into this mess?! "Oh yeah, I'd stay out of his way if I were you. He's been captain of this ship for ten years, but no one knows where he came from. They say he murdered the previous captain with nothing more than his bare hands," said the woman, almost as though she was trying to scare him. It was working. Dipper gulped hard. Now that he knew who that man really was, his fear of him was completely rationalized.
      "So what name did he give you?" asked the man. Dipper cocked an eyebrow. "My name is Dipper..." he replied, confused. They both burst out in laughter. "Wow, I feel bad for you, that one is one of the worst he's come up with," said the man. Dipper pursed his lips and folded his arms, face turning crimson.
"Captain gives everyone in the crew a new name one they join. Name's Red," said the woman, shaking Dipper's hand with a surprisingly firm, almost crushing grip.  "I'm Question Mark, or Soos for short," said the man. "How is 'Soos' short for 'Question Mark'?" Dipper asked. "It's best not to question it," Soos replied, pun unintended.
       "I haven't gotten a name," Dipper said finally, slightly offended. Soos had an oh-crap-face, saying quickly, "Oh, uh... No offense or anything dude, I uh, didn't mean it like that. We just like making fun of the captain when we can." Dipper sighed. "None taken," he said begrudgingly. He really didn't want to be on bad terms with the only sane people in this hell.
"Well, if you haven't gotten a name yet, I'm sure you'll get one soon," said Red. Suddenly, a large pair of arms seized Dipper's. "The captain wants to see you," said a deep voice, a man that slung the poor writer over his shoulder. "Speaking of which," she added, chuckling. "See you on the other side, dude!" said Soos lightly. If he was going to die, he didn't think they would be so casual about this, so Dipper was just glad that wasn't what the man meant.
      This time, he was place gently on the floor. Well, not gently, but on his feet, at least. The burly pirate took his position in a corner of the room, standing at attention. The captain sat behind his desk, this time leaning back in his chair and using the surface in front of him as a foot stool. His hands rested intertwined behind his head. "I almost forgotten the most important part of you joining my crew! I gotta give you a new name!" he said, "What is your name, anyway? Not that it's gonna matter in a few seconds."
       "D-Dipper Pines," he replied shakily, voice cracking. The strange man looked him straight in the face. He covered his mouth with his hand, desperately trying to hold back laughter. "Dipper? What kind of a name is that!" he cackled, "Man, that name is so ridiculous I might not even change it!" He continued to cackle to himself as Dipper's face turned bright red. After he calmed down a bit, Captain Cipher said finally, "Nah. New life, new name." He dismissed the guard with the wave of his hand. Dipper stood tall, doing everything in his power to stay strong and resist cowering on the floor in a ball.
      The captain got a little too close to Dipper for his comfort. He inspected him from head to toe, a hand stroking his nonexistent beard. He finally paused at the brunette's chest, staring at a pin Mabel had given him before he left. It was a simple golden pine tree, but it meant the world to him, especially at a time like this. "Hmmm, I think your name should be Pine Tree," said Cipher, straightening his back and looking down into Dipper's eyes. He hadn't realized the height advantage this man had over him until now. He must've been at least three inches taller than Dipper. "Pine Tree?" he said, almost flabbergasted at the name that was somehow more ridiculous than 'Dipper'.
        Without warning, Bill Cipher leaned in so close to Dipper that their lips met. His eyes widened in pure shock. What? What is he doing?! He thought frantically. Not knowing what else to do, he neither pulled away nor kissed back. Cipher must've felt a different way, because his kisses intensified. A few seconds later the captain pulled away, leaving Dipper a hundred times more confused than he was before it. He stared at Bill in disbelief.
      "You're free to go~" the captain said sassily. Dipper shook himself out of it. "What did you just...! Why did you just...!" he said, unable to say the next words. "Kiss you? Cuz I felt like it. Why're you complaining? You didn't seem it not enjoy it," the psychopath replied. His face burned red like hot iron. He didn't pull away: his first mistake. Dipper was so unbearably unprepared for this kind of situation. No one has ever had any romantic interest in him, especially not a man, and let alone a murderous captain of pirates!
Well, he said I was free to go, he thought to himself. Dipper turned and dashed out of the room, desperately trying to get as far away from that man as possible. He sped to the uppermost deck to the railing. He braced the wood and leaned on it for support, staring at the churning depths below and letting the brisk morning wind cool him down so he could think.

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