Something I'm Not 2- History (Sequel)

Chapter 2

Maria sat next to me on the ground. "I'm sorry." I shake my head and she shrugs. "You need a friend, I'm here." she says coolly and I look ahead of me. 

                                                                                   ***

(Harry)

I was recording in the studio one of the songs they force me to sing. In a way, it kind of reminded me of... her. I stopped singing in the middle of the session and they just stared back at me. "Harry, what's going on?" Alex bends down to speak in the mic and I just stare blankly ahead of me. I knew I had to stop doing this every time I think of her but lately it's just been getting too hard. The pressure just gets thicker in my chest and then I get all choked up like I am now. 

I snap out of it and shake my head. "Can I take a break?" I ask and he nods. I stepped out of the room before he had time to say anything. I went to the room that Caroline once walked in. The only room we had to ourselves. The binders she's organized for me in the corner, are now a mess again, and the table she's sat at with her laptop in her lap, feet up on the table, was scattered with paperwork and forgotten song lyrics scribbled on paper. 

I leaned over the table with my palms flat and exhale, tears trying to form but I held it in. Someone's heels clicked slowly behind me and I immediately knew who it was when her arms pushed around my sides. She didn't hug me like Caroline, she didn't talk as smooth and quiet as Caroline, and she wasn't even close to as beautiful as Caroline. She's the most annoying person ever and she managed to get a kiss out of me when I got drunk and now she looks at me like I'm her prey. The only reason why I kissed her was because her hair reminded me of Caroline, and I was drunk enough to make myself believe it was her. 

"I think you need a distraction. Get your mind off of her." she speaks and I didn't move. Her strong cheap perfume made her small like a french whore and it made me more disgusted with myself. "And that distraction won't be you." I bark back at her and she loosens her grip and tugs at my belt. I defensively straighten and push her away. "Quit fucking touching me. I'm not interested. Get out." I say annoyed and she just folds her arms, trying to push up her non existent breasts. "I don't get it. You're one of the most famous celebrities  out there right now, and you're caught up on some low life school girl?" she says and I fist my hands, stepping close enough that my hair almost touched her forehead. "You don't know her. You have no room to call any one a lowlife but yourself. You hear? I don't want you, never will. You're nothing but a gold digging whore. Go find someone else with money to fuck you." I say clearly hopping she'll get the hint. 

"Just remember Harry, you're the one who sent her away. So stop being a whiny bitch about it and get over her." she says before walking around me. I slammed the door shut and sunk to the floor, dialing Ed's number. He answered on the third ring. "Still having problems?" he asks and I close my eyes. "Could I come stay with you for a few days?" I ask pathetically. "Need a break?" he asks. "More than ever." 

"That's not a problem Harry." he says calmly and my shoulders relax a little but not enough to take the burden off. 

I flew to his place the next day and collapsed on his couch. "So, still feeling shitty about her?" he asks and I groan into his pillow and nod. "Every fucking day. It won't go away. I thought it would get better, but it's not. I mean, this is the career I've always wanted but it's nothing to me now. I don't want the money, or the fame, or any of it anymore. I just crave her more than anything. It's that fucked up marking shit. Why did I mark on her?" I groan and chuck the couch pillow on the floor, and then pick it up to hug it to my chest, before falling on my side in a ball. 

Ed pulls a chair up in front of me and sighs. "Her and Trevor are looking for an apartment together." he says quietly and I sit up. The mention of her and him in the same sentence were like nails on a chalkboard. "Why? Why him? She knows I hate him." I snap and he sighs again. "She said she can't afford to keep the place you put her in. She asked me not to tell you, but I figured you should know. I talked to her last week." he says and I just stare at him. "Who the hell told him where she lived? I certainly didn't." I say growing nervous and uneasy. 

He groans and rolls his eyes. "Look Harry, I'm gonna be blunt with you. Do you still love her?" he asks and I nod. "Do you need her?" he asks and I think about it before nodding. "Then go get her! I'm tired of having that one depressed friend all the time that can't go to a damn bar without going home crying. I'm done being the crutch between you two. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you. Go back to her Harry, go find her, tell her how you feel, and work things out before you really do lose her. She's been nothing but a generous, selfless woman for you. Go be the same for her. I'm tired of hearing it." he says with his eyes furrowed and I sit here and ponder what he just said to me. 

"I don't want to interfere with her career though. She probably won't even take me back. That's what Trevor does. He digs his nails under your skin and grabs you up without even knowing it. He's a snake and Caroline's probably already fallen for it." I say and he shrugs. "Well, then sit here on my couch for a month crying about how your life sucks some more. Be my guest. When you want to do something about it, then talk to me." he says bluntly and gets up.