Something I'm Not 2- History (Sequel)

Chapter 34

I had left to England to stay with Ed two days later, I had remained quiet most of the time around Harry. He had kissed me goodbye when he dropped me off at the airport, and had one of his escorts make sure I got on the plane okay. It felt so weird without him next to me, I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. It was a long plane ride, fortunately no one was seated next to me but I had always flown with Harry and we always found some way to entertain each other on each ride even if it was me laughing at his grumpy behavior for Alex scheduling his flight at 4 in the morning. I stared out the window of the plane and thought about him. How I could love a man I'll never marry, never be committed to, he'll never give me the family I want, I'll never carry his last name. I sunk down in my seat and sighed. Maybe time away from him isn't a bad thing after all. Maybe I was just growing a little too dependent on him always being next to me. 

I landed around 8 pm and found Ed and his escorts. I'm pretty sure Harry and Ed made some sort of deal to keep me on high guard at all times knowing how Harry can be. I grew a little frustrated at the thought when Ed grinned and gave me a hello hug. He wore a hoodie to hide himself. We were at the back of the airport where there weren't a lot of people. "How was your flight?" he asks and I shrug. "It's weird without having him watching me like a hawk, but good." I say and he chuckles. "Well, let's get going. We can talk in the car." he says putting his hand on my shoulder and heading for a back door. 

I had a text from Harry in the car but I ignored it. He was just asking if I had made it off the plane. I wasn't sure if I was ticked at him or upset about it. I was somewhere in between. Ed had noticed me turn off the phone without relying and gave me a small look. "You guys fighting again?" he asks and I shrug. "I don't know. To be honest." I answer quietly. "Well he's just going to freak out if you just ignore him." he tells me and I shrug. Not quite answering. "What are your views on marriage, Ed?" I ask him seriously and look at him. He's a sweet, sincere guy. I want to know what he thinks. If my head is in too deep or if I'm just being too clingy and Harry just overreacted. He bends down, pulling two cans of what I think was beer out of a department in the car. His driver was quiet up front. 

He hands me one and I stare at it for a moment. My intentions aren't to get drunk out of frustration but I was sure going to try. "What do you mean?" he asks and takes a drink. "Like, would you ever want to get married?" I ask him and he shrugs. "If I ever find the right person and the timing was right, yes." he answers quietly and I tilt the can up, taking a big gulp, ignoring the scent of it. Why couldn't I have found someone like him before Harry? I mentally scold myself. Harry and I just can't be apart, no matter who I dated if we were broke up, I would've went to Harry or he would come to me. No matter how committed I'd try to be to someone else, I will always love Harry unconditionally. And no matter how sweet and understanding the guy would be, Harry wouldn't care, he'd push his way back into my blood and join back the sanity we have created. If that makes any sense at all. Maybe that's our problem, our relationship is too intense to take any farther step. 

"Why is that what's going on right now between you and him?" he asks, snapping me out of my train of thought and I sigh. "Me and him went down to Colorado to see my mother. Harry couldn't find the words to tell me in person that she had died when I was trapped at Matt's, so we went and I saw her grave and got disowned by my own brother. I was upset and asked to just get out of here, go somewhere no one else would be so we wouldn't have to be in so much drama constantly. He said okay. Then two days ago, he was talking about moving over here. He said he found a house he liked and I told him I wouldn't go that far unless we got married. Or at least engaged." I took another sip and sighed. "And he made it clear marriage is not on his list of things to do in life."  say quieter and he inhales before answering. 

"What's wrong with moving here? It's not so bad here." he says lightly and I swallow. Is he taking sides with Harry?

"Because, he just expects me to pull everything I have and leave with him to a different country?" I ask him and he shrugs. "That's what you wanted isn't it?" he asks and I started feeling more and more frustrated. "Not to that extreme. I mean, I wouldn't know anyone, I'd be in a whole different country permanently and this is all his territory. Not mine. And what if something happens that we break up again. Where would I go? Cause I'd have no one." I tell him and he went silent for a minute. "True, but Caroline, after all he's done and sacrificed for you, I don't think he'd leave you that easily any time soon." he says smoothly and I sigh. "Then what's wrong with Marriage if I'm all he wants to be with?" I ask and he shrugs. "You just got him to admit he loves you, give him some time." he assures and I shake my head. Before I said anything I regretted I change the subject. "So, what about you, how are you doing?" I ask and he takes another sip. "Good, there's a party tomorrow if you want to go." he says and I sink in my seat. My phone buzzed again.