It Ain't Easy (Urban)

Over

"Can't believe that it's over baby
But every bruise on my heart you gave me
See we tried but we fight then we cried now it's over babe it's over babe."

~ Ashanti; Over (SONG OF THE BOOK!)


LAYLA

A tear ran down my face in the dark as my husband Malik crawled into the bed. It was 3:45 in the fucking morning and he's just now getting into bed smelling like pussy. I felt my heart shatter again but this was nothing new.

When Malik and I first got together I was sixteen and he was nineteen. I fell quick and hard for his smooth honey skin and his dark chocolate eyes. I loved him from the moment he threw his game at me and we married when I turned eighteen and pregnant. My momma told me I was too young but I just knew Malik would never do nothing to hurt me. We loved each other too much and I would stay by his side through anything.

Flash forward through a miscarriage, drug dealing, prison, my mom dying, fighting multiple women over Malik, throwing dishes, yelling and all of the shit Mal has put me through; I'm 24 years old and fed up.

Mal started changing and now I don't even recognize him or myself. I've become a weak woman that's lets her man treat her like shit. I'm the running joke in the hair salon and among Mals little sluts. You know that shit that wives say "you may have him once but I'm who he comes home to" well it just that, shit. Coming home to me ain't worth this.

My wakeup call came this afternoon when a girl called me up to inform me she was six months pregnant with my husbands baby and I need to just sign the divorce papers and stop being so pathetic.

It was ironic for three reasons. One, I never got any damn divorce papers. Two, I've been wanting a baby for four FUCKING YEARS! Four years and he gets some side chick pregnant. This isn't the first time someone has accused him of being their baby's daddy but he's actually involved as the pictures that she sent me show. He's kissing her belly, rubbing it and holding up baby clothes. The others weren't his but for him to be there I know this one is.

The last ironic thing isn't that ironic. I do need to stop being so pathetic and holding on to some love that ain't doing jack for me.

I closed my eyes and let all my anger wash over me. Tonight will be the last time I feel sorry for myself because I put myself in this position. Well I'm taking myself out.

~

I woke up and all my self promises of the following night came back to me. I looked I over to the right side of the bed to see it empty. Well that's not gonna stop me.

After taking a shower, brushing my teeth and getting dress, I walked down the hall to the kitchen. I had slowly picked out my clothes this morning and chose somewhat of an armor. I was wearing tight jeans, four inch heels, and a leopard blouse. My hair was done to the nines. Since I had naturally straight long hair I didn't need weave.

I stepped in the kitchen to see Malik eating a toast and scrambled eggs. Usually I made him breakfast but for the past year Mal has been up early and out. Basically he didn't want to be around me.

"Layla, I need to take the Benz to get the oil changed." He said and put his hand out for the keys. What a wonderful way to greet your wife.

He must think I'm dumb. I had the car serviced last week and had told him that. He just wants to take MY car and give it to a hoe to ride around in. Uh, no honey. That game has stopped.

I instead put the ultrasound that the slut sent in his hand. His face was priceless as he realized what he held. Yeah nigga, what do you have to say now?

"Give your baby momma your car because she's sure not driving mine. Malik we are over. We're so fucking over that I don't even want to look at you right now." I said harshly.

He looked up at me and rolled his eyes. "Layla I ain't got time for this bitchy shit and games this morning. So what, you know. I figured you'd find out but this ain't nothing new. Look baby I'm sorry. I ain't mean for it happen but shit, it did."

"Yeah it's not anything fucking new and that is sad Mal. Just sad" I yelled. " and you want to call me baby and say you're sorry but we both know you don't even give a damn. You fuck around on me all the goddamn time. Everybody knows it and how many times have we been through this shit about you didn't mean for it to happen. You have no respect for me. None at all. How many times have you called me all types of bitches and hoes when we've argued? I'm your WIFE! Your wife and you treat me like shit." By now I was crying but because of anger not sadness.

"I only married you because you were pregnant but since you lost it I was stuck with you. Yeah I cheat but that's because I don't want to hear your mouth or because you act like your pussy is made out of fucking gold. You know what I'm getting tired of all this Layla. You act like I don't give a fuck but you're still living off my money and I give you whatever the hell you want. You need to stop bitching before I get tired and leave your ass." Mal replied. I didn't want it to hurt but Malik's whole little speech killed me inside.

"Are you even real? You only married me because I was pregnant? Wow Malik, Wow! Thank you for putting me through all this shit because you were stuck with me. I was down for you when you went to prison. None of those other women snuck phones or drug in for you. None of those little hoes sold their mommas house to buy a lawyer for you. That was before you even had a fucking cent. And you're leaving me, well guess what, get the fuck gone because I'm kicking you out. We are through!" I screamed.

Malik got in my space. "Listen I don't know who you're being loud with but you know you're not gonna leave me. I'm gonna go and you better be calmed down when I get back." He moved back and walked away. I heard the front door slam and knew he was gone.

Well I've got something for his ass. I grabbed my cell and called my best friend Adella. She was a Puerto Rican firecracker and the number one fan of me to leave Malik.

"Della do you wanna go to Home Depot with me? I have some locks to change."