Don't Let Me Go || l.s.

Chapter 12 - Losing Grip

Finishing wrapping a hand-towel around Harry's hand, Louis scratched his cheek slowly. "Lets get you to your room, okay?"

Harry stayed silent.

Louis stood Harry up and placed a hand on the small of his back, another resting on his abdomen. He made his way from the bathroom and took a glance around at the mess that was the living room before leading Harry up the stairs and to his bedroom.

"They aren't going away," Harry mumbled as Louis made him lay down on the bed.

"Focus on me, Harry," Louis said while he climbed onto the bed and sat in front of Harry. Doing as told, Harry raised his head and stared into the bright cerulean orbs which were Louis' eyes, but Harry felt really out of it.

He didn't feel a thing.

He felt numb, both physically and mentally. His mind was in a much darker place and he could not seem to snap out of it. Dark thoughts and dark memories flooded through the dam gates in his mind. He could not get it to stop nor slow down.

Louis shook his head and cupped the side of Harry's face, leaning forward so their faces were inches apart. "No, I mean really focus on me. Not our surroundings, not the things in your head, me." His thumb slid soothingly over Harry's tear-stained cheek and shuffled forward so he was resting on his lap, legs on either side. "Look at me." Louis demanded softly whenever Harry turned his head away, and when Harry didn't comply, Louis took matters into his own hands.

Curling his fingers into his palm, he pressed two fists on Harry's chest and forced him backwards so he was laying on the bed. Moving himself forward, Louis straddled his boyfriend's lap and leaned back down so his face was once again hovering over Harry's. "Me," he breathed out and Harry shut his eyes when feeling Louis' warm breath lingering over his lips.

Inch by inch, Louis placed loving kisses on exposed pieces of Harry's skin. From his neck down to his legs, then trailing the kisses back up. He saw Harry's green eyes staring back at him, and in one movement their lips were pressed together.

"I can see it, you know." Louis whispered after pulling his lips away from Harry's needy ones. "The way you smile sometimes, but that smile doesn't reach your eyes."

Harry blinked his eyes multiple times while raising his hand and placing it upon Louis' cheek. " 'm tired." He mumbled sleepily, letting his fingers slide down Louis' cheek with a small smile on his lips.

My Harry is back, Louis thought with a smile before nodding down to Harry. "Rest now, baby," he said quietly, hearing the door downstairs open then close, followed by Anne calling out Harry's name. Louis started to get up but was pulled back down by Harry, "please don't leave me."

Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and shook his head, relaxing himself back down on top of the taller lad. "I won't leave you, Harry." After shuffling to get comfortable, Louis looked down to see Harry with eyes closed and snores leaving his parted lips. "I won't ever leave you." Louis mumbled while placing his head on Harry's chest and pulling the comforter over the two half-naked bodies.

"Harry? Louis?" Anne called out once more while in the upstairs hallway, seeing the bedroom door to her son's room wide open. She expected to see that the room was a complete disaster like the living room, but it was exactly the same way she had saw it that morning, just this time there were two figures laying under the comforter. Taking a few quiet steps into the room, she sees that Harry is fast asleep with Louis laying on the top of him, tracing mindless patterns on Harry's arm.

A creaking sound at the door makes Louis eyes travel over, finding Anne, Harry's mother, standing there with a smile on her lips. Anne gave him a look and he nodded, slipping from Harry's warm embrace and onto the floor, where he slipped on his pair of pajama pants and one of Harry's shirts while Anne turned around to give him his privacy while dressing. When finished, Louis looked down at Harry and tucked him in some more before heading out of the room and downstairs with Anne.

"Thank you," Anne said while stepping over the mess in the living room, which she would clean up later, and making her way into the kitchen.

Louis tilted his head to the side while sliding himself on a chair at the kitchen table. "You don't have to thank me. But . . . if it's alright to ask, what are one of his 'episodes' anyways? Like, why does he have them?"

Anne sighed after she started the tea, turning around to look at Louis who watched her curiously. "He has them because of past experiences, and has had them since he was 12. I even had to homeschool him for awhile because they started to happen during class and he would lash out. Little things can trigger memories from the past, things that have happened to him, and he over-thinks a lot so that's also a cause of his episodes sometimes."

"What caused them, though?"

"I'm not sure if it's my place to tell, but . . . has Harry ever told you anything about his father?"

Louis shook his head. "The only thing he said is that his father tried to win his forgiveness or something, by getting him the Audi. Only thing he's told me."

"That's true but there are some other things that happened . . . that he did to Harry, I think that's the only thing I can tell you. Harry will explain it to you when he's comfortable enough, but that might take awhile. I'm not sure if he has comes to terms with it all yet."

Setting down a mug of tea in front of Louis, Anne opened up a cabinet and got out a box of sugar cubes.

"I'll wait around until he tells, even if I have to wait forever."

Anne set down the box on the table while holding her cup of tea as she stirred in some cubes. "You really like my son, don't you?"

He smiled to himself while putting in multiple cubes, because he liked his tea sweet, then nodded. "I do, so much."

"Just . . . don't hurt him, alright? He's fragile and carries baggage, but if you get past that-"

"We both have baggage Ms. Cox, and I would never do anything to hurt your son. He's my everything and he's always been there for me when I needed it. I'll take care of him, I promise." The next thing Louis knew, Anne's arms were wrapped around his shoulders from behind.

"Thank you, Louis, for . . . well, everything. He's the happiest I think he's ever been and it's all because of you. You even got him calmed quicker than I have."

"No need to thank me," Louis patted her arms with a smile. "Can I ask you something though?"

She nodded as she pulled away from Louis, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. "Anything."

Louis shifted in his seat and took a sip of his tea before glancing up at Harry's mother, "How did you know when you fell in love?"

"Well," Anne began, gulping down a bit of tea before setting the mug down on the table, "my first love's name was Andrew, to begin with. I think that I realized I was in love with him whenever I could barely comprehend sentences without getting flustered and nervous, feeling like I wanted to throw up at every word. In a good way, of course. When he held my hand or held me, I would feel tingly and get goosebumps. I always thought about our future together; marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. He made my stomach get overwhelming butterflies and each time he looked into my eyes . . . I just fell for him all over again. It wasn't any school-girl crush feeling, it was deeper than that. When you're in love, you'll know. Your heart will know."

Louis ran his index finger slowly across the top of his mug while smiling to himself. "Oh." He let out a sigh of happiness and licked his lips. Because most of everything she had said, applied to way Louis felt for Harry.

He thinks he might be coming to terms with his feelings for Harry.