I'm Real, I Promise

Chapter 1: The Walk

I have a rather big family, and at times it can be very overwhelming. The lack of space is what bothers me the most though. The only place in the house I feel free in is my bedroom, and even then my family are always telling me to come out of my room. I've been suffering from depression for the past year and a half. I hate that word 'depression', its such an understatement. My family and friends, although they try, they have no idea what it's like. My counsellor is always telling my mother to keep me out of my room, make me go out more, talk to more people. You see since all this started (it actually started since I was about the age of 10, but it wasn't prominent until I was 17) I don't feel like my life is my own, it's either my family or counsellor trying to make me do things in order to help me, or it's controlled by the demons in my life, the ones who torment my mind and emotions and murder any self worth I may have left. Anyway, since my family is so big and there isn't much space, and nearly everyone that knows me is convinced that going out more will help me, I've decided to go for a walk, at the time I feel is appropriate. This time will most definitely be late at night, when everything is mostly quiet and there is a lack of humans I may have to encounter.

So here we are, it's now 10:30 and where I live it gets dark around 5. Therefore by this time it's rather black outside. Whilst picking up my
backpack and jacket I could hear my mum walking up the stairs and starting to open my door.

"Where are you going sweet heart?" she asked me in a calming voice.

As if I could say I was going for a walk at this time. I'm the youngest and have always been treated like a baby. There was no way I'd be allowed to wonder the streets alone at night.

"Lana just called me and she's really upset about her boyfriend or something, she just asked if I could go over for a while or maybe stay the night if that's okay? I know it's really random and late but it'll just be this once, pleaseeee".

"Ask your dad, if he says yes then you can go, but let me drop you, you don't want to be going on the bus at this time?" 

I grabbed all my stuff and rushed down the stairs, making an unintentionally loud stomping sound on the stairs.

"Stop making noise the kids are asleep!" my brother said, clearly annoyed.

"Sorry" I whispered.

I walked through the hallway and into my parents room. My dad was sitting watching the news on his iPad.

"Baba, can I go to Lana's house please?" 

"At this time? Why didn't you go in the morning?" my dad replied confused and slightly angry.

"Baba please, she just called me and she was really upset, she asked if I could just go round and stay for the rest of the night, just today, please".

"Stay the night? No I don't think so, how many times have you stayed at her house? You can go tomorrow for a few hours".

"Baba pleasee, I hardly ever stay the night, and what 18 year old asks their parents to go out, at least I'm a good child, please baba, and mummy said she'll take me. Please she's really upset and she's my closest friend".

My dad looked at me as if he had unwillingly surrendered.

"Fine, but just this time and don't sleep too late, it's not good for you".

"Ah thank you baba" I squealed as I walked over to give him a goodbye hug.

Lana's house was rather close to mine but awkward to get by any means of transport. Her neighbourhood also had an extremely narrow road and a dead end at the point which her house stood. Due to this it was hard to drive into the road and then turn to get out of, so my mum just dropped me at the beginning of the road. It was quite a safe area so she wasn't worried.