Reylo~Broken Souls--Kylo Ren and Rey

10. Ashy Hands

Rey squeezed his ashy hand and looked up once more into his eyes, waiting for him to say something.

He clenched his jaw and his stare turned icy. "No. Absolutely not." This time, when he wrenched his hand away, she let it go. Let her arms fall motionless to her sides.

"You know as well as I we don't have another choice. People in the village would have heard the explosion. They would have seen the fire. We can't stay here, Ben. They're are only hope."

He paused. And then. He looked at her with such emotion in his eyes that Rey thought she might break. The ice in his eyes had melted. The glacier that was his heart had collapsed. And now, as he looked at her, Rey could see the water that pooled in his eyes.

Gone was the joy they had felt earlier. Gone was the laughter they had relished in.

He blinked. "I'm not ready, Rey." He said her name like a prayer, like a poem, like a song. And she froze under his gaze, finding tears forming in her own eyes.

Somehow she had come to care for this man, the man who stood before her, weak and defeated. And at last she understood why. When she looked at him, she saw herself. They were both scavengers, desperately searching in order to survive. Somehow she had found what she had been looking for in him.

Somehow, she cared.

She cared for him because she felt...safe with him. When she was with him, it seemed as though nothing could go wrong, although everything had.

Rey swallowed. "You are ready. You've been ready for a long time." Rey made herself meet his eyes as she said the next words. "But you've been lying to yourself. You wanted to rid yourself of pain, so you killed your father."

He shook his head fiercely, dark hair whipping in the wind. "You don't know me, scavenger."

"But Ben," she whispered, "you're a scavenger too."

She let the words sit heavy on the desert air. She met his eyes, and there it was. Right where it had always been. A flicker of light, a glimmer of pearlescent hope.

"You sought to end your pain, but your pain was the light inside of you. Your connection to your family. To your heart."

He blinked, forcing the tears back into his eyes. "My heart will be the death of me." Closing his eyes, he begged. "Rey . . . make it stop. I don't want this pain." 

Rey reached out a hand, brow furrowed in concern, and touched his arm. "Ben," she managed.

"Even now I am weak. I don't see clearly. I don't see light and dark. Rey . . ." he murmured, reaching a hand to cup her cheek. He touched her gently, carefully, as though his very fingertips would break her.

She shivered under his touch, even though the desert was warm. Even though his hands were warm. "Tell me what is right," he pleaded.

Rey closed her eyes, relishing in his touch. She covered his hand with her own, holding him closer to her. "You are asking the wrong person. What is right . . . what is wrong . . . it's unclear to me too. But I think I know you enough to tell you that you are strong. I know you are strong enough to see her again."

"My mother," he stated, trailing off. At last he swallowed and met her eyes. "I've never stopped loving her. I know it seems crazy, but I am capable of love, even now. Even as I am."

"I know."

"She's our only option, isn't she? Our only logical option?" Rey gave him a small, sad smile in response. "I haven't seen her in . . ." He trailed off, unable to count the years. Rey thought that perhaps he did not want to voice the number. He did not want to say how long it had been since he had seen her.

"I know," she said once more. "But we're not going to do this unless we both agree to it."

"I have to agree. If I don't see her now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life." At last, Rey could see joy in his eyes, excitement that she had seen before.

She had seen this face before. She had seen this small smirk. She had seen it on Han.

"Let's call her up, Rey."

Rey could not help herself. The joy in his tone made her heart beat faster. And so, with a small yelp of excitement, she jumped into his waiting arms. He chuckled into her neck and her fingers wove themselves into his dark hair, holding him closer to her.

Smiling into his chest, Rey spoke. "Let's not worry about light and dark. Let's worry about what we need."

He released her, just enough so that he could look at her face. Just enough so that Rey could see her own image reflected in his pupils. "I need to see my mother, but that can wait. What do you need, Rey?"

Rey could not help the pink from tinging her cheeks. "You've already given me part of what I've needed--someone who would understand me." He ran his tongue along his bottom lip and gave her a squeeze. "My whole life I've been waiting for my family to come back. I suppose that all along I should have been the one trying to find them. You've given me coordinates to find them. Someday, I will."

"Someday?" He pulled back even farther, holding her at arm's length. "Let me show you now. We'll find my mother later."

When he spoke to her like that, offering the chance to sacrifice his happiness for her own, Rey's heart swelled. But she could not take this away from him. She shook her head. "We need your mother, Ben. She's a general, and I'm sure we both have information that she would find useful. My parents are dead. I have quite a lot of time left to find them."

He shook his head, astounded by her choice. "Is that what you want? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Rey told him, offering him a smile. "Let me get the radio."

AN: ALRIGHT WHOS READY FOR EVERYTHING TO FALL APART?

#theyaintready

Aw dang I have so many twists coming up. You will have to stay tuned! Anyway, hopefully you guys appreciated all of the references I managed to put in. XD

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