Mute (Calum Hood)

Chapter 9

*Lacey's POV*

   It has been about a month and a half since Calum had asked me to be his girlfriend.
   Besides the whole diner situation, things have been going pretty well.
He's understanding, sweet, beautiful. I don't know what else I could ask for. I'm quite happy. But there is still that lingering pain in me. As well as the fear of talking.
   I guess I really did never explain why I've gone mute.
   Depression is anyone's ball game. You don't choose it, it chooses you unfortunately. And no matter how content you are, it is still there. Lingering.
   When I was 14 years old, I was sent to a "health center", basically a home for teenagers who go insane. I don't believe I am or was insane.
   I was diagnosed with dysthymia, which explained what I used to say was just my "funk." The doctors also said I had a type of panic disorder, and that is why I went mute. I don't think they were wrong. I never liked talking very much as a child anyways, but once I hit middle school, it became a chronic fear. If I had to speak, especially in front of people, I would go blank. I would start to sweat, and shake, everything would go blurry, it felt like I was under water too deep and I could not hear.
   To be honest, I was afraid. Terribly afraid I would say something wrong. And that if I said something wrong, I would be punished. I guess you can blame my father for that one.
   But telling Calum that would only increase my problem. I couldn't tell him. Literally.
   Truly I don't know what would happen between us. He doesn't deserve this. A girl with a fucked up past, a girl who doesn't speak. He's too amazing to deserve this.

   "So you actually got frost bite?!" Calum laughed.
   I smiled and wrote down "yes! It was horrible!" He had asked me what living in Minnesota was like, for like the billionth time.
   "God, that's awful." He laughed, winding down a little bit.
   We were in his room, as we had been all day. His head was resting on my stomach, as I ran my fingers through his hair.
   "When I lived in Australia with the boys, gosh we would do all sorts of things. Play soccer, sing, we even started a little band when we were around 14." He laughed.
   "Do you sing?" I wrote down. He laughed a little bit.
   "I thought I could, I don't know if I still can. Luke has a killer voice." He said.
   "Will you sing?" I asked him on the note pad. He sat up and sat with his knees tucked.
   "Ah I don't know Lace.." He drifted. I gave him my best pout, as he tried to keep a straight face. He finally gave in.
   "Alright fine." He said. I smiled as he made himself comfortable on his bed. He sat with his back against the head board, his legs extended out.
   I put my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. He took a deep breath in, before he started.

   I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted, I thought about our last kiss how it felt, the way you tasted. And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine, are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you, when he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you, sometimes I start to wonder was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause I'm not fine at all.

I felt the vibration of his beautiful, soft voice in his chest.
   When he finished, he laughed.
   "It wasn't that great." He said. I quickly grabbed my note pad.
   "Are you kidding me? That was beautiful Cal." He smiled when he read it.
"The song is unfinished. That's basically all we got to." He said. I couldn't believe how good he was. He wasn't powerful, but he was soft, and perfect.
   "You sounded so beautiful." I wrote. I saw a red tint flush his cheeks.
  Before I could react to anything, my phone vibrated.

Mom: honey, I need you to come home right now.

I instantly started to worry.  What did she need me home so soon for? I showed Calum the text.
   "What do you think it could be about? Would you like me to drive you home?" I shook my head, I would walk. It wasn't too far.
   "Alright. Please text me when you get home." He said.
   I nodded, and quickly made my way out the door.
I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Maybe it was nothing to worry about? But still, something felt wrong.
When I got to my house, I opened the door quickly to find my mom sitting on the couch with John.
"Honey, please come and sit down." My mom said. I knew it was going to be bad. I could hear it in her voice.
I went and sat down cautiously, and waited for one of them to speak.
"Honey, um.. There's no easy way to say this. But I need you to promise me you will not react badly." She warned me.
I arched my eyebrow at her. Depends what the situation is.
"Um.. Your father is in town." She finally spit out.
I felt my heart sink to my stomach. Everything started to go blurry. I felt like I couldn't move. He couldn't be back. There's no way. He was locked up for what I thought was much longer than this. He can't be here. He can't.
"Lacey?" John tried helping, he put his hand on my back but I jumped up at the touch.
I ran up to my room, and locked the door. I found myself pacing around, breathing fast.
   I could hear my mom knocking on my door, but I couldn't answer.
   What was I going to do? There is no way I could come face to face with that monster.
My face was heating up, and my vision was soon blocked with tears. I sat down on my bed, and threw my face in my pillow. What was I going to do?

*Calum's POV*

"No I have no idea. I don't know if she is okay." I said. Ashton had come over after Lacey left. I don't know what Lacey's mom wanted to talk to her about, or anything.
"It's probably all okay man." Ashton tried to reassure me. I couldn't go over there? Could I? Maybe.
"Will you go over there with me?" I asked him. Ashton took no hesitation to nod, and toss me my keys.

I knocked on Lacey's front door, and John stood in front of me.
"Calum, I'm glad you're here." He said. My heart dropped when I heard his tone.
He let both of us in, and led us upstairs to a closed door, where Lacey's mom stood in front of it.
"Calum, it's a good thing you're here. I can't get through to her." Her mom said.
"Ms Evans, what happened?" I asked her.
"Please just try and talk to her." She said. I nodded, and she stepped aside. I lightly knocked on the door.
"Hey, Lace. It's me. Ash is here too. Can I come in?" I said softly. I heard the lock of the door turn, and I twisted it open. I closed it behind me, and sat down on her bed next to her.
    "Talk to me." I said, handing her a notepad. She sat up slowly, her face stained with tears. I put my hand on her back to stable her.
   Her shaky hand writing said "my dad is back."
I wasn't sure why that was a bad thing, but I take it he did something bad.
"It's a long story." She wrote again. I wasn't going to pressure her into telling me anything. It wasn't right.
I fell on my back, landing in her sheets. She followed, laying her head on my chest. I felt my shirt getting wet with her tears, my heart started to ache. I felt awful. There wasn't much I could do.
    We sat there for a while, her head in my chest, my hand running through her long hair.
    She sat up slowly, brushing away the tears on her face. I kissed her forehead gently, and she forced a smile.
   "Let's go downstairs. Get some water or something." I suggested. She nodded, and we both made our way downstairs.

It's been a few weeks since Lacey found out her dad was back in town. She hasn't seen him yet, and neither has her mom.
Lacey wasn't at school today, and I was really worried. I tried texting her, but I got nothing back.

   "Anything?" Mikey asked as they all got in my car. I shook my head.
   "Why don't you go over there after you drop everyone off?" Beth suggested. I agreed that I would go to Lacey's house after school, to see if everything was okay.

   I knocked on her door, no answer. Before I could knock again, her mom answered the door.
"Calum, hi, I don't know if right now is a good time." She said. My heart dropped. What could be wrong?
   "Who's at the- oh, who's this?" A mans voice came from behind her. A pretty tall guy, with brown shaggy hair, and bright blue eyes. Just like Lacey's. It was her dad.
   "Declan, this is Calum. He's um, he'd Lacey's boyfriend." She said. He cocked his head at me, and I raised an eyebrow.
   "It's nice to meet you Calum. Are you coming in?" He asked. Lacey's mom opened the door for me to come inside. I saw Lacey on a barstool in her kitchen, and made my way over to her.

   "Hey Lacey, babe are you okay? I haven't heard from you in ages, did anything happen are you okay?" She interrupted me by taking my hand in hers and nodding.  I exhaled in relief.
   "Lacey, your father and I are going to chat for a little bit." Her mom told her, hinting her to leave. She pulled me up to her room and closed the door.

   "What the hell is he doing in your house?" I asked sternly. She grabbed the notebook sitting on her bed.
   "He just showed up." She wrote. I knew nothing about her dad, but her reaction to him being in town was enough to know he was trouble.
   "Well, he looks pretty normal to me? Is that what he's always looked like?" I asked her. She shook her head.
   "Apparently he's "changed" in the last  5 years." She wrote.
   "So, do you believe him?" I asked.
   "I'm not sure." She wrote.
I sat down next to her, and pulled her into my side. I kissed her cheek, and she smiled.
   "Make sure you keep me updated. With everything, okay?" I said. She nodded. We sat there for a while, in a comfortable silence, before I realized she had fallen asleep. I smiled to myself, and turned her on her side, and brought a blanket over her.
   I carefully positioned myself next to her, wrapping my arm around her waist.
I am so lucky.