Watermelon Run Gone Wrong

There once was a guy named Ron.  Ron was an average guy.  He did what he was told all his life. He was an upstanding and law abiding citizen as far as anyone could tell. He was what you would call so normal that he was completely unremarkable and utterly invisible. Nobody noticed poor and average Ron. Ron was okay with that though. He like to go unnoticed. He enjoyed feeling invisible. Nobody took notice of what he did because everything he did was lame. Well, that is except.... what most people didn't know about Ron was that he was an illegal watermelon smuggler. This may sound ludicrous but it's true! He lived in a country long, long ago in a far away place and time, and in this far away place and time (for some inexplicable reason) watermelons were illegal.

Now one day Ron had gone out on a watermelon run. He was quite good at these and he owed his past successes to his plain and normal appearance. In the past when he had smuggled watermelons across the border he would always meet with the border control. They would take one look at him and then send him on his way. They thought that there couldn't be anything wrong with him and it never even ever occurred to them to check back of the van Ron was driving. He always secretly enjoyed the complete and total incompetence of the border police. It made his job that much easier. Like taking candy from a baby he thought every time he drove past them.

But this run would be different from all the others. There was a new commanding officer of the border police and he was strict. No more lax policies on checking people's belongings. Ron, however, did not know there was a new sheriff in town and so he took absolutely no precaution whatsoever to hide the watermelons in the back of his big, white, totally suspicious looking van. He just pushed them all in there and then sped off towards the border.

After about thirty minutes of driving he arrived at the border. It was desolate; the only other people there were the border police. He drove over to the gate and pulled out his photo ID and his passport then he rolled down his window. The new commander walked over to Ron to inspect his papers and just when Ron thought the new commander would wave him off on his way, he asked to see what was inside the back of Ron's van. Ron was taken aback by this as he was never before asked to show the contents of the back of his van. Ron panicked. He tried to tell the man that he had nothing suspicious and all that was back there was the supplies for his electrician business, but the commander just wouldn't hear it. Ron was desperate now. If the commander looked in the back of the van he would find a whole load of watermelons and Ron would be sentenced to jail time for sure. He couldn't go to prison! Do you know what they'd do to a guy like him in there?! Most certainly nothing pleasant. I shudder to think about it...

A bead of sweat slowly slid down Ron's forehead and the commander could tell something was up. This guy was getting more and more suspicious by the minute and the commander knew he had to see what was in this guy's totally suspicious van. It was the most criminal looking van he had ever seen!  Something illegal was in there for sure.  The commander of course didn't expect anything too illegal to be back there. This was, after all, a pretty normal looking guy. He never would have guessed that Ron would have something as highly illegal and dangerous as watermelons. That was the highest offense a person could make! No... certainly no watermelons would be lurking in the back of this guy's van.  It was most likely unregistered bananas or something of that sort the commander thought to himself.

Ron knew he had to get out of there, and he had to do it fast. If da fuzz got any more suspicious of him it would be game over. In the slammer. Life sentence without chance of parole. That is unless they decided to execute him on the spot! Ron couldn't decide whether that possibility was better or worse than prison... 

Suddenly, as Ron was sitting there underneath the intense gaze of the commander, an idea came to him! It was an idea so outlandish and preposterous but it was the only thing Ron could think of. He had to wait for just the right moment when everybody was out of the way... Now! He seized his chance and slammed on the gas, rushing forward towards the gate leading into the country. As he broke through the fence and sped onto the road beyond, the commander shouted to all the officers at his disposal to go after that van, then the commander himself got into a border control police car and zoomed after Ron.