There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate (39)

"Come on, Jordan, you have to get up," Lexi groaned, shaking me a little when I refused to get out of bed Monday morning. "Come on, Jordan! You've never been this bad at getting up before! You couldn't have stayed up so late that you can't even get up!"

I didn't even know the answer to that. I stayed up really late, and I only knew that I fell asleep sometime after twelve and didn't check the time beforehand... But that wasn't the problem. I had stayed up practically the entire night before and I was able to get up for school. I just didn't want to go because I knew that Jesse wasn't going to be there, and everyone was going to be talking about him.

I knew that people were talking about Alexandria after she had passed away, even though I wasn't even at school because I was in the hospital. It made me wonder if anyone was talking about me... I really didn't want to think about it.

"I don't feel well," I whined, but it wasn't like it was a lie. It wasn't like I was sick or anything, but I definitely didn't feel any good. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die...

It was so late that she was already ready, and most of the other girls had already left. The only ones that were still in the cabin were Lexi, Chelsea, AJ, and me.

"Jordan, you've already missed so much school when you were in the hospital," Chelsea informed me as she stood next to Lexi, all dressed and one hundred perfect ready to go to class. "If you miss anymore you're going to fall behind. You might not be able to graduate."

"We already took our SATs and everything," I complained, burying my face in my pillow even more. "What we're learning now isn't even important. It won't matter if I miss it."

"What's wrong with you, Jordan?" Lexi demanded, and I could just tell that her eyebrows were furrowed. "You used to be so concerned about your grades that you tried to go to school with strep throat back in sophomore year! Now you look and sound perfectly fine and you don't even want to get out of bed!"

She didn't understand. The person she was in love with was still with her. She had at least another month with him, and possibly even the rest of her life. I didn't have that chance. I didn't have a choice because the person I was in love with was taken from me.

"Whatever," I growled, forcing myself out of my bed and walking passed them right as AJ emerged from the bathroom, all ready to go. I trudged past her and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me as loudly as I could. I turned on the shower but didn't get in right away. I sat by the door and listened in to what the girls were saying as they thought I was in the shower.

"What's up with Jordan?" I heard AJ ask the other two girls. "She's been so snappy and out of it ever since we found her on the dock on Saturday."

"Do you think it has something to do with Jesse's death?" Chelsea wondered out loud, and I couldn't help but suck in a nervous breath. They couldn't know about us... They'd hate me for sure! Even if Hunter couldn't go after me anymore, that didn't mean he couldn't go after the people I cared about... "Why would she be upset about Jesse's death if she hated him so much?"

"Death is still death, Chelsea," Lexi told her, and I let out a sigh of relief when is saw that she was on my side. "We're all upset over it, too. Even though they hated each other, Jordan had a bigger connection with Jesse than the rest of us. They were closer to each other than we were with him, and they had a type of bond. They've been annoying each other since freshman year."

"I thought she'd be at least a little bit happy," Chelsea grumbled, as if unhappy that she hadn't been right. "I mean, she always talked about how much she wouldn't even care if she just disappeared off the face of the earth! And now that he did, she's completely depressed!"