"What is that?" Harry questions Louis, when they are on one of their shopping trips.
"Oh," Louis says, "Okay, well, Harry, when a man and a woman love each other. They have a baby."
"A Bay-Bee." Harry questions the term with a thick accent, a cute frown on pretty face. "Explain."
"Well," Louis says, unable to control his fond, "Those two," He gestures to the attractive couple seated on the bench next to them, "had a baby."
"Can we have a bay-bee?" Of course that is Harry's next question.
It's only logical.
"No, sweetie." Louis says, his fond and exasperation are tiresome. "We can't."
"Why not?" Harry looks agitated. "We can't we have a bay-bee?"
The couple nearby is staring. They look amused. Their baby is staring. It's fascinated by Harry, or more importantly his swaying tail.
"Well, luv," Louis sobs a little because this is his life now. The cat whisperer. "Sweetums."
The couple is deeply interested in what Louis is going to say next. Wankers.
"I want a bay-bee."
"You can have this," The couple readily offers their bundle of joy. They are tired of caring for it. Louis hopes they are joking in the spirit of the season.
"No thank you," Harry says politely. "I want our baby."
"We are men," Louis responds, praying a little inside, "We can't have babies."
"You won't have sex," Harry snaps, "You won't have babies. Just say it. It's me."
Many people are staring now. Louis sweats nervously.
"Just tell me you hate me," Harry orders Louis. "Just release me from this lie."
"I won't take advantage of you." Louis mutters.
"I will," A beautiful twenty something girl offers breathlessly. Apparently Harry is her type.
"I'm sure you will." Louis gives her his murder smile. Guarding Harry is a full time job. No benefits, no sick leave, just an endless level of satisfaction that nobody will violate beautiful cat.
"She likes me," Harry smiles at girl, who looks ready to faint.
"She can go away now," Louis glares at pretty girl. People of all ages are having a reaction to his feline. Well enough is enough. This is Louis' cat.
"So," Harry frowns, he does that a lot, "You want me to be alone, all the time?"
"No, babe." Louis says patiently, "I want everything to be your choice."
"My choice is sex." Harry screams, "Sex, sex, sex."
"But the moral implications..."
"Oh screw morality." Harry looks ready to hit Louis which is fine. Violence over sex.
"Babe," Louis says as people shake their head at the abusive cat owner. "We have an appointment with that special tattoo artist today."
"I want to have a baby." Harry snaps. He is irritated and fragile.
"Why don't we buy you more clothes?" Louis says, his tone full of love.
"I don't like any of this stuff," Harry sulks a little. He is a very expensive cat. Mall clothes won't satisfy his fancy needs.
