Joe Sugg | Imagines

Pregnant

"Mmm-hmm." You nodded feeling Joe put his hands on your sides holding you. "How do you know it's a he?" He wondered your eyes gazing into each others.

"I just have a feeling." You admitted with a smile. Things seemed to be happening at two paces – like you were living in the fast lane and at a snails pace. "As long as it's healthy, I don't care." Joe admitted leaning down he kissed you...

... "That's your heartbeat." A nurse said looking at the two of you at your eight week check up and sonogram. "Oh my gosh." You whispered looking at the monitor before looking at Joe who looked taken back by the sound of a quickly beating heart. "wow." He looked to you, smiling.

You were holding hands, "nice and strong – you're growing a strong baby Sugg." She laughed a little bit...

... The door of the hospital room opened and Joe looked up quickly as he stood up, he'd been sitting against the wall, slowly twisting the silver wedding band on his left ring finger – waiting and waiting, seconds like minutes – minutes like hours.

He had rushed you to the hospital after you hadn't been feeling the best all day and when he got home from work you could barely move off the couch.

A Doctor appeared in green scrubs and was holding a clipboard, his heart was racing anxiously. "Mister Sugg?" He asked in the most professional voice Joe had ever encountered in his life.

"Yeah?" Joe asked nervously, "how's (Y/N) and the baby?" He was playing with his hands rolling them together slowly as if he was getting ready to pitch a baseball, that's what Joe did when he was anxious – played with his hands.

"(Y/N) is ... Fine." He said after a minute and Joe could feel his heart dropping as his stomach knotted. "And the baby?" He asked carefully.

The doctor whose facial expression hadn't been much of one until now had turned sombre, eyes sympathetic. "I'm so sorry." He said in a lower voice while still remaining professional.

"No..." Joe whispered, "I know it's hard to understand and not much comfort is offered about the situation, these things can happen – often for no reason at all." He explained to Joe.

"We did everything right..." Joe trailed off, feeling himself becoming unfocused. "Everything." He whispered again.

Within a little under nine weeks, you both found out you were expecting a baby, got married, found a tiny one bedroom flat and started making a life together for a baby ... A baby that the doctor was telling Joe no longer existed.

"Can I see her?" Joe finally asked, nodding; "of course you can." the Doctor opened the door for him and he slowly walked inside.

"Babe?" Joe asked you carefully seeing you sitting up in a hospital bed, sort've staring forward – not really focused onto anything.

"Joe..." You whispered, finally looked at him as he came to the edge of the bed.

"He's gone, Joe ... They tried to stop it, but they couldn't." An emptiness had overcome you, usually you were strong but right now you felt so weak.

"It's okay..." Joe whispered softly, his hand cupped your cheek, "it'll be okay." He kept whispering, your eyes looking into each others equally sad – equally in pain.

"I'm so sorry," you started crying. "Honey, this isn't your fault." Joe said to you, trying to dry your tears away and not start crying himself.

"If I had gone to the hospital earlier..." You sniffed trying to keep yourself from sobbing.

"No, (Y/N), this isn't your fault." Joe had sat on the edge of your hospital bed, he pulled you close against him tightly, you wrapped your arms around him...

That night you both went down to the river, sitting on the same bank as you had many times before, but this time it was different – everything that had seemed so important had vanished into the air. You were sat close together, holding each other. It was silent around you apart from the river slowly moving.

You had started feeling Joe shake a little as you both held each other, you weren't sure what he was doing until you heard him sniff and it dawned on you he was crying in silence against you.

He had held himself together for you all afternoon and into the evening and finally he broke down. You squeezed him tightly. "Oh Joe." You whispered feeling even more guilt ridden, he didn't reply to you, you just felt his arms wrap around you tighter and his face had nuzzled against your neck and shoulder...

... Life had changed drastically, Joe and you had gone from being very close to very distant, you just sort of existed around each other as the weeks went by. Joe started acting like he didn't remember while you acted like you didn't care.

You had your marriage dissolved and started going separate ways. You still loved each other, but things weren't the same no matter how hard you tried to both make them be.

"Bye, Joe." You stood at the bank of the river as the Sun was making its bed in the Western sky, the trees surrounding the two of you were dancing in the small breeze. "Be safe," you lent in kissing him lightly on the lips, you had been separated a few month.

"Thank you, you look after yourself." He brushed some of your hair behind your ear. "I will." You nodded, "oh, I think – I think you should have this back." You took his hand into yours and carefully placed something on his palm, you closed his fingers around it, your thumb brushed against his fingers before looking up at him again.

You kissed him again quickly before you disappeared through the trees.

Joe watched as you left, before he looked down at his hand, opening his fingers, he looked at the bubble gum machine ring he'd gotten you as a wedding ring.

He looked away from his hand, blinking some tears away as his eyes glasses over...

Joe's P.O.V 

I shook my head from looking from the nightstand and I exhaled slowly, looking at my computer screen. Trying to focus back into editing, it was late evening – a video due tomorrow afternoon.

Biting my lip, I sighed getting up I grabbed my car keys, "where are you going?" Caspar asked me as I walked upstairs. "Out." Was all I could tell him as I left, getting into my car I had taken to London with me recently.

I drove two hours with myself in silent, until I hit Wiltshire county lines. I figured I was crazy, I had no motives on being here. I pulled off a paved road onto dirt, between two fields and stopped at the tree line that had gotten much thicker after almost five years.

The moon was full and bright above it, shining through the leafs on the trees, my feet crunched the shrubbery around me, until I got to a clearing, walking down the bank, with my hands in my pockets, I stopped.

Looking down to the river, the river was dry and my heart felt sad. "Oh." I whispered, my eyes travelled up the small clearing to a large tree where (J+(Y/Initial)=<3) Had been carved many moons ago, but it had faded away.

"What're you looking for?" A voice from behind me caught me off guard, I turned quickly to look.

"(Y/N)..." I whispered unbelievingly, "hey." She came from beyond the trees, just how she left me.

"How did you know?" I wondered. "That you were here?" She asked and I nodded. "I didn't..." She admitted, "I come here everyday, the river dried up not long after you left." She explained.

"(Y/N)..." I whispered, unsure of what to do or say, I walked up the banks edge and I wrapped my arms around her tightly, squeezing her. "I've missed you, so much." I whispered, feeling her arms moving to be around me. "I've missed you, too." She whispered back.

BY: imagines-joesugg on tumblr