Pretty Little Secrets (Cake)

Prologue

I think of life as a game. And like a game, you have to do whatever you can to get to the top. Nobody wants to lose the game, just like no one wants to be the loser in life. If you want to win in a game, you may have to cheat. If you want to get to the top in life, you may have to pretend to be something you're not.

That's what I have to do. I have to pretend to be this f*ckboy jock. I have to pretend to be interested in nothing but football (soccer) and girls. Nothing in life can matter except for being the best in football and getting the most arse that you can get.

That's all I'm supposed to care about. I can't care about getting good grades or getting into college on an academic scholarship. I can't just stay home for a weekend and doing something relaxing like read or draw or things like that. I have to always be out, drinking and partying and just being a stupid teenager like everyone around me.

But all of that is just the image I build. The real me comes out when I am by myself. When I am alone, the real Calum comes out, the one dress pretty pastel colors and soft silk and lace. A boy who likes dream of his prince coming to save him from this judgmental world one day. A guy who just wants be loved and accepted for who he is.

I hate the real me, even though I can't help but want to be that me. I hate wanting to wear pretty clothes. I hate not feeling confident until my face is covered in make-up. And I especially hate that I won't be happy until I am with another guy.

It's just not natural. It's not natural for a guy to want wear make-up or want to be adorned in pretty, girly clothes. It's not natural for a guy to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable in clothes designed for guys. And it's definitely, definitely not natural for a guy to want to be with another guy.

I can only imagine what everyone would think if they saw me. I live in probably one of the most judgmental places you could ever live in. Anyone who isn't straight or isn't considered normal is automatically considered an outcast. And if you get labeled as an outcast, you are the lowest or the low and you get ridiculed, and possibly bullied for it.

I can't let that happen to me. I can't handle being made fun of for things that I can't control. So, I have to hide my secrets, all of my little secrets. I have to hide them and make sure that no one finds out who the real me is. No one can find out about the dresses I secretly wear or the lace I wear under all my jeans.

No one, I mean no one can find out my pretty little secrets.

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I know this was kind of short, but this was just a little introduction into Calum's thought process and gives just a bit of insight on his life. I can promise you that the chapters will get longer. Luke will appear in either the next chapter or the chapter after.

I will try to update once or twice every week!