The Only Way is Up

Part One

Nicole looked sadly at her friend, "he wants a divorce."

Kim groaned, "and you were so convinced that he was coming back."

She nodded as Kim led her into the lounge, "you deserve more than this Nic, you deserve a better man. He's NEVER been good enough for you. I mean you lost a baby, a traumatic miscarriage, and he goes off and fucks some woman ten years younger than him. You do NOT deserve that shit."

Nicole smiled sadly, "I'm almost thirty five; I'm a mess...who else would want me? I'll never have what I want." She looked enviously at her best friend's distended stomach, she'd be a mother in a few months, and it was something that she'd imagined she'd experience. And it was another nail in the coffin of despair that had taken over her life since he'd walked out on her.

Kim took her hand, "darling, you are more than this. You are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. You aren't past it, you aren't over the hill. You aren't past it."

"She's twenty eight...blonde...slim...she's a bloody model for hell's sake."

"And you are gorgeous too, you're intelligent...could she manage dozens of million pound accounts like you do? Do you think her and Vincent talk about the FTSE? Of course not! And it'll fade, these rebound things do, he's a fool, but he'll be a lonely fool."

"He told me it was my fault that he had an affair."

Kim literally punched the sofa in anger, "the bastard would say that."

"I've put on loads of weight, I haven't had my hair dyed or cut in months...and I look awful...He's right." As if to prove a point she used one hand to part her hair to show her grey roots, and the other to squeeze at her ample waistline. "Who'd want this?"

Pulling her chin around so that Nicole had to face her friend, she almost snarled, "that man has put you down for months, the old Nicole would've raised her middle finger at any suggestion that you caused this. You have been grieving for the baby; you were just getting over that when you found them together. So in your sadness and devastation, you've not bothered as much...that's HIS fault."

Nicole stood, not wanting this to go any further, she felt responsible, she'd let things slip, she'd lost her husband, now she had to tell her family, society that she wasn't good enough. Failure wasn't something her parents recognised, and she dreaded that conversation.

Unless she didn't have it.

In the kitchen she pulled three tiny fragments of glass from her calf, each created a stream of blood that tracked down her bare leg. Grabbing a wet wipe she cleaned the dry and now fresh blood from her skin then stood, leaning against the work surface.

A few moments later Kim appeared at the door, "you ok?"

She nodded, "he said he's taking Shelley...that's her name, and he's taking her to the Winter Ball at work. How the hell can I show my face there if my husband who is also my ex boss is there with some young tramp on his arm?"

Kim squeezed her shoulder, "you go, with your head held high and looking a zillion dollars."

Holding out both arms she pointed at herself, "I draw your attention to exhibit A, me, you'd be lucky to get ten dollars."

"You are wrong, you are beautiful. And he'll see what he's thrown away. A lick of paint and you'll be fine, and if you want to get fit, lose weight, then I'll speak to Mike."

Her husband ran a few gyms in the town as part of his portfolio of businesses, but both women knew that the gym was the last place that Nicole would venture by choice, another symptom of her lack of confidence and self worth.