I've become depressed and nothing seems to cheer me up more that Panic! At the Disco. When my friend(s) noticed that I lost a bunch a weight they started to worry and I had to tell them and then my boyfriend came into the mix of this mess. After expanding this to my boyfriend and my friends, they started to try and FORCE FEED me and me being stubborn I didn't eat for like 2-3 weeks before I started to eat small things like salad or a pice of meat hrs here and there. To top it all off my "Big Brother" left for the armed forces and who knows when I'll see him again. We talk and I try to hide it but he finds it and I act like nothing is wrong, and I shouldn't but I do. Not eating is a form of self harm and I'm doing it and I need to stop but I can't. My mom is always working my other brother is here and my dad but most of the time I'm trying to keep myself occupied so I don't do anything stupid. My days are dragging and nothing makes me happy anymore and it's sad, in a way I miss the old happy colorful always happy to meet new people, person that I was but in another way I like the new me way I like the new me way better.
