Adopted by Sleeping With Sirens

Tears and Starbucks • treinta y uno

"Oh no. That's nothing just old stuff. Put it b-." I tired to say but I saw the box was already opened.

"Why?" Kellin asked.

"They're old. You already told me you knew. You saw yesterday that I haven't done it anymore." I said.

"I want you to flush them." He said and my eyes practically popped out of their sockets.

"What?! No. No! I can't." I said shaking my head and tried to grab the box back but Kellin put his arm up for I couldn't reach.

"why? I don't want you to do this. Your to perfect." Kellin said and placed a hand on my cheek. I was going to smile and give in but I knew that what he was saying is a lie.

"I'm not." I mumbled and pushed his hand off me.

"What?"

I felt the anger build up in me. I can't stand him calling me perfect all the time. Especially when I know I'm so not.

"I'm not. I'm not perfect! If I was perfect why did my mom leave me?! Why did all those things happen in the past? Why have I for the first 15 years of my life, not have a true best friend?! Huh? Because I'm fucking disgusting and my dads parents could probably see that and that's why they made them give me up! And they didn't love me enough to say no! I'm dating a fucking guy over 17 which I never thought I would do because before I met you! - before I met the band I was fucking terrified for my life of older guys and even some women! Those blades were my best friends, my escape.. My - my" I shouted and I wanted to say more but I got choked up on tears. I felt like I couldn't breath and I had the feel to need to use my blades. Kellin put the box down on the counter and put his arms on my shoulder.

"You.. You. You don't like that were together? Monica if you don't really want to be with me you don't have to. I promise you no one will ever hurt you again. Especially not me or the guys. We love you to much as just a person, as Justin's daughter. You're right you deserve someone your own age. I'm sorry. but I just want to say. Yes you are perfect. Everything about you is. You're not disgusting or ugly and you said first 15 years so that means you have a best friend now? I'm sure they love you and your parents? They were stupid to let you go but I'm sure they did it for the right reasons. Just we can break up if you really don't want to be with me. I don't want to force you." Kellin said and I could see the tears in his eyes and hear the crack in his voice.

"Kellin.. No no no. You never forced me. I promise. I'm sorry I said that I didn't mean it. I fucking love you. You and the band are the best things that ever happened to me. I probably wouldn't even be meeting my mom, or alive, if I would have stayed with my other adopters and yes I know my best friend loves me. Because that's you." I said and then gave a small smiled and hugged Kellin tightly and he hugged back.

"I'm sorry but I really do want you to get rid of these." He said grabbing the box and shaking it. I think he saw the terrified look on my face, he sighed and said "I won't flush them. I'm going to put them in my room somewhere okay?" Then he left and I closed and locked the door behind him. I didn't feel like seeing him right now. I didn't feel like seeing anyone. The one person who meant the most to me now knew one of my darkest secrets.

I shook my head trying to get my mind off that and grabbed a pink maxi skirt and a white kind of crop top shirt and a necklace and my white converse. I threw them on my bed and stripped from the clothes I was wearing and put the new outfit on.
I went to straighten my hair and do my make up.

Only one more hour till I meet my mom.

-

"I'm nervous." I said pasting back and forth in the parking lot of Starbucks "what if she backs out and doesn't show up?".